HTTYD One-Shots: The Musical
by AHaddock3
Summary: A collection of one-shots based off of songs. I have a playlist but requests are welcome via review or PM. Major ships include Hiccstrid, Toothfly, and Stalka. Ratings range from K to M so PLEASE read chapter summaries.
1. Beyond The Veil

**A/N WHAT IN HADES IS WRONG WITH ME?!**

 **Is it not enough to have seven stories in progress and a series of poems in the works, but I have to do this, too?! Apparently not. You know what this is, readers?**

 **THIS is proof that I am certifiably INSANE.**

 **But that's why we all love each other...**

 **Anyway, ignore my crazy ranting. This is a series of ONE-SHOTS, people, ONE-SHOTS, though I may repeat the use of several AUs. The one-shots are based off of songs that whenever I listen to, I think, "there must be an HTTYD one-shot for this." And there were none, so...I'm making them. Yay!**

 **I STRONGLY advise that you look up the songs on YouTube or whatever you use because a lot of the songs I like aren't really well-known. Okay.**

* * *

 _Beyond The Veil_

 **Time Period: Canon, Post HTTYD**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid, Stalka**

 **Genre: Hurt/Comfort**

 **Rating: T, for sad things and nightmares**

 **Summary: Hiccup is grieving after Stoick's death, and no one can help him. That is, until a certain ghost comes to say goodbye.**

* * *

Astrid was worried about Hiccup. She knew that Valka was, too.

He wouldn't sleep. He barely ate. He did his chiefly duties and helped clean up the village from Drago's attack, but he did it all slightly...mechanically, as if he were a machine that was running down.

Then, when he got home for the night, he'd sit and stare into the fire. He'd talk with Valka at times, and always seemed happy to see Astrid, but there was a dullness in his eyes she'd never seen before. When he finally succumbed to exhaustion and collapsed into sleep, he usually only slept a few hours before jerking awake, screaming.

Toothless would try to calm him down, and Hiccup would shrug the Night Fury off before disappearing into the woods. What he did in there, nobody knew, but he always came back with red, puffy eyes.

They all knew what was affecting him, but no one had the courage to bring it up.

Stoick's death.

Hiccup had never been that close with his father, everyone knew that. But it was still hard for him to adjust to life without him.

* * *

 _Stoick watched from Valhalla as his son grieved._

 _Something had to be done._

 _Stoick missed Hiccup, of course he did._

 _He missed them all._

 _He'd never even gotten to say goodbye._

 _Wait...he still could._

* * *

"Hiccup?"

Valka walked up the stairs to where her son sat, staring into empty space, on the edge of his bed. He turned his head to look at her but didn't respond.

"Hiccup, Astrid's here. Do you want to go downstairs?"

"Sure." Hiccup got up and went down the stairs, Toothless following. Valka sighed and followed. She wished she could help her son. But he resisted any amount of help at all. Downstairs, Hiccup and Astrid were sitting by the fire, Toothless curled up next to them. Valka joined them. Hiccup and Astrid talked quietly for a bit, and Valka started to clean up supper.

Suddenly Hiccup gasped, and Valka turned quickly. She wasn't sure what she had expected to see, but she certainly hadn't expected to see Stoick standing on the other side of the fire. She gasped and clutched at the table.

"Dad?" Hiccup whispered. Astrid and Valka could only stare.

"I'm not really here, son." Stoick said warmly. "I'm in Valhalla. This is only a reflection of my being."

Toothless got up and walked towards Stoick, his head low, looking up at Stoick with pleading eyes. Stoick smiled at him.

"Hello, friend. It wasn't your fault, you know." Toothless lowered his head further.

Astrid still gaped like a fish, and Valka stepped forward hesitantly. "S-Stoick?"

"Hello, Val. I'm sorry we didn't have more time. You take good care of our son, hm?"

"Yes. Yes, of course."

"And Astrid. I'm sorry I won't be around to see you and Hiccup be married. But I'm proud of you. I am."

"T-thank you, sir."

Stoick then turned to Hiccup, who was tearing up.

"Dad, I'm sorry. It was my fault you died..if only I hadn't been so stubborn..."

Stoick chuckled. "We're Vikings, son. Stubborn is what we do best. Besides, I'm an Einherjar now. And with all you've done, I don't doubt you'll join me someday."

Stoick cocked his head, as if listening. "I don't have much time. I love you. I miss you. Goodbye."

He suddenly melted away, and was gone in a spark from the fire.

Hiccup, Astrid, and Valka looked at each other as if to say, "what just happened?"

* * *

Hiccup was doing much better. He was eating, sleeping, and only had the occasional nightmare. He and Astrid and Valka never told anyone else about Stoick's visit, but they kept it close in their hearts until they died. And...true to Stoick's prediction...they joined him in Valhalla.

* * *

 **THE END**


	2. Diablo Negro

**A/N ...Am I crazy? Yes, I am.**

 **Me: I really want to write these one-shots!**

 **Little-Me-In-The-Back-Of-My-Mind: But you have other stories that people are expecting updates on.**

 **Me: Yeah...**

 **Little-Me-In-The-Back-Of-My-Mind: So update them!**

 **Me: (whining)But it takes so long to write one of those chapters, and only about forty-five minutes to write one of these!**

 **Little-Me-In-The-Back-Of-My-Mind: So?**

 **Me: So I only have half an hour today!**

 **Little-Me-In-The-Back-Of-My-Mind: ...Fine. But you're updating something else this week!**

 **Me: Yes!**

 **Just my crazy plot bunnies...**

 **Review replies:**

 **midnightsky0612: Awwww. Thanks. It's nice to know that that little story actually inspired feelings in someone (even if they're sad ones)...**

 **Guest: Amazing? Really? Thank you!**

 **Reba G (Guest): Thank you! And I'm glad someone recognized the song! :-) As to your request, I don't know the song, but I'd be willing to give it a listen and see if it screams "HTTYD!" at me. And if not I can always pretend it did! (heh heh heh...)**

 **I'm sorry, readers, I forgot to say which song inspired the last chapter!**

 **Chapter One was inspired by the song "Beyond The Veil", by Lindsey Stirling.**

* * *

 _Diablo Negro_

 **Time Period: AU, main character's age 19**

 **ship(s): Hiccstrid**

 **Genre: Humor, Romance, Dance**

 **Rating: T, for slight violence and references**

 **Summary: Hiccup is a wanted outlaw and thief known only as "Night Fury." Astrid is another, known as "Storm Flyer." They both go after the same treasure (a dragon egg) and end up failing the heist. Hiccup gets angry, and chases her through the city. They end up in a tavern, and Hiccup wants to fight her, but they end up in a dance fight, instead.**

* * *

Hiccup ran up a wall, flipped over the roof and continued chasing the masked figure who had cost him his dragon egg. How dare he! Hiccup adjusted his own mask and swung onto a balcony, starling a young girl, who shrieked. He blew her a kiss and a sultry look before continuing.

Where was that rat? He'd beat him black and blue when he caught him. A whistle caught his attention. Aha, there he was, waving at him with blue-gloved fingers. He jumped off the roof and Hiccup followed...right into a bin of trash. He growled and climbed out of it while the irritating Storm Flyer waited, sending him a rude gesture and a taunting grin. He lunged, only to have Storm Flyer jump into a cleverly hidden door in the middle of the wall. Hiccup followed, and suddenly screamed as he tumbled down an unexpected tunnel, landing on his stomach at the bottom.

He looked up to see that he was in some kind of hidden tavern...no doubt against the law. Everyone was staring at him, and Storm Flyer was standing in a corner, talking to a girl with startling violet eyes.

"You!" Storm Flyer turned, and Hiccup was pleased to see that he looked surprised. _Good._

"You have cost me my treasure. We will duel. Here and now." He whipped off his cape and dropped it, crouching into a fighting stance. Years of living on his own and running from the law had hardened him. He was sure he could beat Storm Flyer.

Storm Flyer shrugged, and looked at the barman, who shrugged. Storm Flyer dropped his cape as well and stepped forward. The people in the bar were looking excited, gathering forward. One of them had produced a...was that a maraca? And was shaking it in a slow rhythm. Someone else started hitting a drum, with a rhythm that was a bit faster.

 _What in Thor's name_ _?_

Someone else started strumming their guitar.

 _What?_

Hiccup shook his head and focused back at Storm Flyer. He was getting closer..closer...suddenly the people with instruments began playing a real song, and Storm Flyer straightened up suddenly and began dancing quickly around him.

"What are you doing?" He demanded, startled.

Someone cleared their throat and gestured to a poster pinned to the wall. It read: "DANCE FIGHTS! Thursday Night!"

"Ooohh...well then. If it to be a dance fight, then I shall dance fight you... _to the death._ "

He was glad for his heeled leather boots.

He launched straight into dancing, following the song. When he finished, Storm Flyer smirked at him and started a whole new dance, using stunts and sword thrusts to augment it.

Oh, so it was gonna be like that, was it?

Very well. When it was his turn, he ran up the wall and jumped, doing his favorite "flying through the air" trick.

The song changed, grew...suggestive...and taunting. Storm Flyer started...what? Now that was rude.

"You dare to make the Gronckle gesture at me?!"

Oh, he'd show him.

Their fight grew more heated, using crude gestures and pointed sword thrusts ( **A/N Not a pun, sorry)** and angry glares, until they both lost their rapiers and ended up dancing right across from each other, almost touching, eyes locked in fury.

Suddenly he flipped backwards and grabbed the first thing he could reach, and in anger, hit Storm Flyer in the head with it.

"Ow!"

The music stopped and the people stared as Storm Flyer ripped off her mask to reveal...blond hair in a braid, bright blue eyes glazed with anger, and a high-pitched voice.

"You hit me over the head _with a guitar!"_ the girl screamed.

"Wait...you are a _woman?"_

"Well, what do I look like?!"

Oh, he was dead.

"Miss, I'm sorry, I-I-"

"Oh, you're sorry?!"

"Well, it _was_ a fight, and-If I had known, I would've-"

"What?! What, exactly, would you have done?!"

"Miss-"

"Save it." She turned around and stalked towards a private room at the back of the door.

"Wait!" He followed, ignoring the people still watching.

He followed her through the door, still talking.

"Miss, I'm sorry about the guitar, let me buy you a drink to make up for it."

She sighed. "Fine. But nothing afterward, if you understand me, and I think you do."

He put his hands up in surrender.

"I understand. But you know, more than one woman has gladly given me more without the drink-"

"I said no."

"Of course."

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "Diablo Rojo", by Rodrigo Y Gabriela, and from a scene in the Dreamworks movie "Puss In Boots."**


	3. Swag

**A/N Hello, lovely readers!**

 **Um...What shall I say? The Little-Me-In-The-Back-Of-My-Mind has been telling me that I should really update "The Day My Perfectly Normal Life Exploded", but I am not listening to it..me...you know what I mean.**

 **Why? Because it takes an entire school day to write a chapter, but I have half an hour only right now to write, and this is (I hope)n another "die laughing" chapter. Just some warning, the next chapter will probably make you cry again...**

 **Review Replies:**

 **BlackSwanGirl: Well, I'm glad you recognized it! :-)**

 **midnightsky0612: Hahahahaha, I showed it to a boy at school (along with the dance fight video) and he cried, he was laughing so hard. :-)**

 **Reba G (Guest): hahahahaha I know, right?! I could never EVER hear that song without seeing Hiccup and Astrid in my head...that's normal, right?**

* * *

 _Swag_

 **Time Period: Canon, RTTE (Season 3?)**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: Humor**

 **Rating: T, for Snotlout...well, being Snotlout.**

 **Summary: Snotlout has it all. He's the leader of the Edge, he's got all the girls, Hiccup's his servant, and SNOTLOUT is the hero...and then he wakes up.**

* * *

 _Snotlout stepped out of his hut early in the beautiful sunny morning._

 _"Hiccup! Bring me my breakfast!" Hiccup jerked awake from his spot on the ground._

 _"Yes, sir." He ran off in the direction of the Clubhouse._

 _Astrid and Heather appeared and linked their arms with his._

 _"Hey, hero," Heather said, and Astrid gave him an adoring smile._

 _They made their way to the Clubhouse, where a thousand medals and awards hung on the walls, all celebrating Snotlout. The biggest one celebrated his defeat of the Red Death._

 _Hiccup came out of the kitchen and set Snotlout's breakfast in front of him. "Will there be anything else, sir?"_

 _"No, my good Hiccup, run along and give my dragon a bath."_

 _"Yes, sir."_

 _He ran off again._

 _Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Fishlegs appeared, saluted Snotlout and went about gathering breakfast._

 _"Hey, what about us, babe?" Astrid pouted. "Shouldn't the Runt get us some breakfast, too?"_

 _"No problem, beautiful. Hiccup!"_

 _While they waited for Hiccup, Astrid leaned closer and closer to him...closer...closer..._

* * *

"Snotlout. Snotlout. Snotlout!"

"What? What? I'm awake!"

Snotlout sat up quickly from the bench he'd been lying on and promptly fell off.

He looked grumpily up at Hiccup and rubbed his head.

"Hiccup, I was just having the best dream," he whined. "Hang on...maybe it wasn't a dream. Fetch me my lunch!"

He stared expectantly at Hiccup, who gaped at him.

"Snotlout, why on earth would I get you your lunch? Get your own!"

Snotlout slumped. "So it was a dream."

Hiccup sighed. "I don't even want to know. Come on, Snot, we need you for a recon mission."

"Okay, great! Who else is going?"

"Heather and Astrid."

 _Oh, so now my dream is just torturing me._

"Sure. Okay. Gimme a minute to..uh..recover."

"From what?"

"The dream I just had."

"Uh...okay. Meet you up at the stables in ten minutes."

"Okay."

Hiccup left, and Snotlout reluctantly left the Clubhouse a few minutes later, only to groan in disappointment. It was raining.

 _Okay, now this is just cruel._

* * *

 **A/N Hahaha poor Snotlout.**

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "Swag" by Lindsey Stirling.**


	4. I Keep Goin' To The River

**A/N Hello, lovely readers!**

 **I was considering waiting until SOMEONE reviewed to update, but then I was like, well, I want to update, and I don't have anything better to do (Totally a lie. I'm supposed to be doing my English and History).**

 **BUT.**

 **I have been going through an INTENSE depression which my parent don't understand. My mom even threatened to call 911 last night if I didn't calm down (she called my dad instead, and fat lot of good that did *sarcasm intended* ) but the point is, my life SUCKS right now. As I have said in the past, I write to comfort myself (another thing my freakin' parents don't understand) and it helps me feel a Hel of a lot less lonely when I get reviews.**

 **Now, before anyone says anything, I'm not trying to guilt-trip anyone into leaving reviews, I am stating a fact.**

 **Here, examples: no one talks to me at school except at Spanish class, and that's because they're paired with me for conversation. No one talks to me at the alternative education program place I go to. No one talks to me at church. No one talks to me in my neighborhood. The few friends I have are either in the hospital or at college. All the extra classes I take, like performance, Shakespeare, all that, no one talks to me. My boyfriend and I broke up because he was being a total jerk, trying to make me do things I didn't want to do and totally disregarding any fears I might have about anything. I have known him since I was three and I still love him, but I can't be with him when he's like this. I haven't talked to him in months. He was the only person I trusted completely and now I trust nobody. My parents demand the best from me and if I don't give it to them I get heavily scolded. I will probably fail in tenth grade because I don't understand math to save my life.**

 **Okay. I'm so sorry to dump all that on you, readers, but I had to tell someone, and the people online seemed like the best bet because nobody I know takes me seriously anymore.**

 **So, the point of all that was only to say that when I get reviews, they make me feel appreciated, they make me feel loved, they make me feel needed, they make me feel like I'm good at something, at** ** _anything,_** **because every single one of those feelings are severely lacking in my life.**

 **Also, I feel less lonely when I get them. Seriously. My sister always asks me if I'm sitting on a nest of ants when I get reviews (I can't imagine why ;-) ) and they make me happy.**

 **So, LOUD LOUD SHOUT-OUT to EVERYONE who has reviewed this story.**

 **Reba G, midnightsky0612, BlackSwanGirl, and that unidentified guest, THANK YOU!**

 **You made my crappy days SO MUCH BETTER!**

 **VIRTUAL HUGS AND TOOTHLESS PLUSHIES FOR ALL OF YOU!**

 **Okay...now that's over. You deserve a new chapter. On with the show!**

* * *

 _I Keep Goin' To The River_

 **Time Period: Canon, Post HTTYD 2**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid**

 **Genre: Hurt/Comfort**

 **Rating: T, for intense pain and guilt**

 **Summary: Toothless is feeling horribly guilty over Stoick's death. He keeps sneaking out at night. One night Hiccup follows him, and Toothless goes down to the river to pray...**

 **Things To Be Noted: There will be Dragonese in this story, so I'm just going to say that during Toothless's..um, POV, I guess, the Dragonese will be like** this **, but when it's Hiccup's POV then Dragonese will be like** _this_ **and Norse will be like** this **.**

* * *

Toothless waited until the house was quiet before slipping out the door. It creaked a bit as he closed it, and he froze, carefully listening to the individual breathing of the house's occupants. Valka kept right on snoring. Cloudjumper and Stormfly, in the stable next to the house, snorted a bit before continuing the deep, slow breathing of sleep. Hiccup and Astrid, upstairs, were breathing in much the same way, Astrid breathing a bit heavier to provide the baby in her womb with air. It was a wonder, Toothless thought, that no one had realized she was with child yet. Not even her. But, then again, humans did not have the hearing or the strong noses that dragons had.

He left the house behind and crept through the woods, headed for the river at the bottom of the hill behind the house. When he reached it, he crouched down at the edge and bowed his head.

"Oh great Draco, king of the souls of your subjects, offerer of peace and good hunting. I, your subject, Shadow Wind, come before you as a murderer. As was forbidden by the prophet Dark Wing the Mighty, I have murdered a family member. As promised, my soul is tattered with guilt."

The Night Fury paused a moment in his prayer.

"As the greatest of the gods, I beg of you to repair it. Help me live with the grief and the pain. I know nothing can bring him back, but he was as a father. Hiccup is like a brother to me, which would have made Stoick..I don't know, a sort-of father? It was all my fault. If I had been stronger, Sky Bend wouldn't have taken my mind. Great Draco, _please..._ "

Toothless shook his head back and forth, trying so hard to prevent the tears.

" _Please..."_

He took a deep breath, then ended his prayer and snuck back up the the house, curling up by the remains of the fire. There he fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

Months.

It had been months since the attack from Drago, and, while Hiccup was recovering from the grief, He could see that Toothless was still suffering from the guilt of being the one to actually kill Stoick.

So, one night, when Astrid was asleep and Hiccup was still awake, he heard the door downstairs creak open, and the suspicious sound of Night Fury feet, then the door closing again. Hiccup got up, careful not to wake Astrid, and followed his dragon.

Out the door, behind the house, down the hill...oh. The river. Toothless had told him once that rivers were where dragons went to pray to their gods. He hadn't understood why, as his Dragonese was still pretty much nonexistent at that point, but he had a suspicion that Toothless was praying for peace in his soul, or something.

Toothless had his head down, and was murmuring in Dragonese. Hiccup caught "Murderer," "Soul," "Father," and "Please."

Then Toothless sighed heavily, turned around, and jumped when he saw Hiccup.

"Toothless, are you alright?"

" _Sure, why wouldn't I be, just, you know, a..um..quick prayer..."_

"Toothless, it's sort of obvious when you're lying."

Toothless slumped. " _I picked that up from you, didn't I? The thoughtless scrambling?"_

Hiccup chuckled. "Probably." He regarded Toothless worriedly. "This is because of Dad, isn't it?"

Toothless plopped down on the ground and sighed. " _Yes."_

Hiccup went and knelt in front of Toothless, staring him right in the eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you, Bud, I don't blame you. It WASN'T your fault. No, don't try to tell me that it was, 'cause I won't listen. I'm kind of stubborn that way. It. Was. Drago. I don't even blame...what was his name? Sky Bend? I don't even blame Sky Bend, because he was under Drago's control. Believe me, Toothless, it wasn't your fault."

" _Hiccup, ever since I met you I've only caused problems. Your leg? Hm? Don't try to tell me THAT wasn't my fault. Or Alvin and Dagur attacking. Or even Viggo Grimborn. If we'd never told any of the other humans about me, then you wouldn't have been attacked for us."_

"Toothless. None of that was your fault. They were greedy and angry at the time. And why are you even bringing up my leg? I thought we were talking about my dad. And I've told you before, losing my leg WAS NOT your fault. These things just happen."

" _But-"_

"And if you want to play the blame game, I can think of a million things that have happened that I blame myself for. Your tail. Insulting Alvin so he'd just get angrier and attack us harder. Imprisoning Dagur instead of trying to get him to join the sane. Letting him die for us instead of believing him. I blame myself for Drago's attack."

 _"Hiccup-"_

"But I think we can both agree that it does no good to blame ourselves. These things happened, and as bad as we might feel about them, it doesn't change the ?"

 _"Yeah. Okay."_

"So how long have you been doing this?"

 _"Pardon?"_

"Sneaking out of the house at night?"

 _"Erm...since we returned from Drago's attack."_

"Toothless.."

 _"It doesn't matter. Let's go in."_

"Okay."

They stood up, and Hiccup wrapped his arms around the dragon's neck. Toothless pushed against his human.

 _"Thank you, brother."_

"Yeah. Now come on, I bet you're tired."

They went back to the house, and Toothless, for the first time in months, slept peacefully.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the chorus of the song "Ghost" by Ella Henderson.**

* * *

 **A/N Well...sorry if that made you cry, or if it punched you in the feels or somethin', but hey, it was next on the playlist. I'm not sure what's next...Hang on...*checking super-secret notebook with a Venomous Vorpent booby-trapping it*...aha, I found it! It'll be an actual song, you know, sung Musical-style..yay!**

 **By The Way...I FOUND A SUPER GREAT YOUTUBE CHANNEL THAT YOU MUST CHECK OUT!**

 **It's: Diisneygen Studiio**

 **It has THE COOLEST Disney and Dreamworks videos, they take popular songs and mix up the animation on them.**

 **BUT.**

 **I recommend it not just because it's cool, but because HICCUP IS INVOLVED! YAY!**

 **The videos that I know for sure involve him, are**

 **Uptown Funk**

 **Immortals**

 **Kiss Me Slowly**

 **Womanizer (Hiccup looked pretty hot in that one)**

 **Hall Of Fame**

 **All Men Are Pigs (I think...)**

 **Brave (possibly...)**

 **Sky Full Of Stars (I'm reasonably sure...)**

 **AND...**

 **Live That Fantasy (1000+ subs)**

 **I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!**

 **It was amazing. *happy sigh***

 **ALSO...check out Princess Rap Battles! (On YouTube)**

 **Warning: slightly innapropriate...**

 **Hermione vs. Katniss is my favorite, but Galadriel vs. Leia is good too. The most child-appropriate one is Freya vs. Ravenna.**


	5. Frozen Heart

**A/N Hola! I've been taking Spanish, sooo don't be surprised if I put random Spanish words in my Author's notes...**

 **So.**

 **Bad things happened...**

 **Too many fights went on in my house yesterday. My brothers decided they were going to make fun of me. That was fine, but then they started fighting with each other. Now, I have some form of anxiety, because whenever people are yelling, or if I'm at a dance and the music is really loud or something, I will get anxiety attacks. Why? I don't know. I think it's just the reaction to loud noises. The most disappointing...I freaked out once at a movie...IN THE THEATER.**

 **So embarrassing...**

 **But anyway.**

 **Review Replies:**

 **Reba G (Guest): Thank you!**

 **MAD Marty: Thank you so much.**

 **Pikachu2chu: Awwww. Happy tears. Literally. Thank you. And yes, a Night Fury hug probably would leave me breathless and gasping for air. :-)You're welcome!**

* * *

 _Frozen Heart_

 **Time Period: AU, Main Character's age 6**

 **Ship(s): none**

 **Genre: Parody**

 **Rating: K, for harmless stuff..**

 **Summary: Six-year old Hiccup joins the Ice Harvesters one night and listens to them sing.**

* * *

Hiccup shivered and pulled his winter coat tightly around him.

His father had decided to take him along to the Ice Harvest that night, and Hiccup, though quite thrilled, had not expected it to be so COLD.

What was he saying? This was Berk. Of course it was cold.

The Ice Harvesters began to hit the ice with their picks, in a rhythm that soon gave rise to a song.

Stoick began.

 **Born of cold and winter air and mountain rain combining**

Ack continued.

 **This icy force both foul and fair has a frozen heart worth mining.**

The others joined in, men and women joining their voices together to create a harmonious sound in the night.

 **So cut through the heart, cold and clear,**

 **Strike for love and strike for fear,**

 **See the beauty sharp and sheer**

 **Split the ice apart**

 **And break the frozen heart**.

Gobber and Phlegma alternated urging on the cattle.

 **hyup!**

 **Ho!**

 **Watch your step!**

 **Let it go!**

 **Beautiful!**

 **Powerful!**

 **Dangerous!**

 **Cold!**

Everyone else joined in.

 **Ice has a magic can't be controlled.**

 **Stronger than one. Stronger than ten. Stronger than hundred men.**

 **Hyup!**

 **Born of cold and winter air and mountain rain combining**

 **This icy force both foul and fair has a frozen heart worth mining.**

 **So cut through the heart, cold and clear**

 **Strike for love and strike for fear**

 **There's beauty and there's danger here**

 **Split the ice apart!**

 **Beware the frozen heart...**

Hiccup shivered and jumped on the back of the sled as they all marched away. He was asleep before they got home.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by "Frozen Heart" by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez.**

* * *

 **A/N So, this was short...sorry. I might update again today, I don't know...**

 **It's Friday. Everything slows down at school today...**

 **Love you guys!**

 **Hugs and kisses for you!**

 **(Even though I'm a lot like Nico di Angelo when it comes to stuff like that...meaning, NO TOUCHY!)**


	6. Belly Button

**A/N Hey, I said I would update again! See! I do do as I say!**

 **...That sounded off.**

 **Anyway.**

 **SHOUT OUT to Reba G (Guest):**

 **I looked up the song "Stronger Than You" and yes, it really does scream HTTYD, but I probably won't have time to write a One-Shot for it until I work through my playlist. But I should warn you, the playlist has about eighty songs on it...**

 **Review Replies:**

 **Pikachu2chu: I don't think you can watch Frozen too many times. :-) Ah, I understand with the Viking vs. Night Fury hug. Although, Whenever I think "Night Fury hug" I can't help but think of the scene in HTTYD 2 with the whole "Oh, he's down! And it's ugly!" moment. And it's nice to know that someone else understands. :-)**

 **LOVE TO YOU ALL!**

* * *

 _Belly Button_

 **Time Period: AU, main character's age 18 (MODERN)**

 **ship(s): Toothfly**

 **Genre: Humor, Parody**

 **Rating: K+, for Gangster!Hiccup and rapping**

 **Summary: Toothless is in love with Stormfly. But he doesn't know how to tell her, about his love OR his dragonish appearance. So what does he do? Why, he gets together a band to tell her!**

 **Things To Be Noted: This is a modern AU where THE DRAGONS ARE HUMAN, except for TOOTHLESS, who is reptilian from shoulders to knees.**

 **And: Tony=Toothless, Stella=Stormfly, Matt=Barf, Tap=Belch, Marla=Meatlug, Harper=Hookfang**

* * *

Tony was so nervous. He peeked out of the curtains onto the stage, where _oh my gods_ Stella was in the audience.

"I don't think I can do this," he groaned.

"You can do it, T," his friend Harper came over and clapped him on the back. Harper would be on drums tonight. "It doesn't matter that you're..you know. Scaly. You're a great guy. You're totally gonna get the girl."

"We've got your back." Marla told him.

"Yeah, just remember what we practiced and it'll be fine." Said Matt.

"Yep." Tap agreed.

Marla, Matt, and Tap would be on back-up guitar, keyboard and voice.

Tony took a deep breath. "Okay." He picked up his electric guitar. He turned to where his best friend Hiccup waited in a corner. "You ready?"

"Yeah, man," the response came. "I'll be there."

"Alright."

When it was time, they burst onto the stage and positioned themselves.

"Hey, everyone," Tony said into his microphone. "Thanks for coming out to our first concert. Really means a lot to us. Now..." The words caught in his throat. He couldn't do this.

Harper and Tap gave him subtle thumbs-up, and Marla and Matt gave him encouraging smiles.

"This song goes out to you, Stella." Tony said, slightly choked.

The intro began, and he took a deep breath, then leaned to the mic and began.

 **Tony:** _Baby, I know your eyes see right through my disguise_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _And no one can deny_

 **Tony:** _Baby, that I'm the one who's love is no surprise_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _And he can't tell you no lie_

 **Tony:** _But there's a secret I've been hidin', I can't keep it no more_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _There's this thing about himself he's never told you before. Baby! He needs to tell you somethin'!_

 **Tony:** _I don't got a belly button!_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _No, belly button, no_

 **Tony:** _Oh, I need to tell you something!_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Can you figure it out_

 **All:** _He don't got a belly button! Belly button no, oh no, no_

 **Tony:** _Baby, please don't squeal, just tell me how you feel_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _'Cause his love is for real_

 **Tony:** _And if you went away, my heart would never heal_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _So to you he appeals_

 **Tony:** _There's something missing in my middle and it's hard to ignore_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _There's this thing about himself he's never told you before. Baby! He needs to tell you somethin!_

 **Tony:** _I don't got a belly button!_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _No, belly button, no_

 **Tony:** _Oh, I need to tell you something!_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Can you figure it out?_

 **All:** _He don't got a belly button! Belly button no, oh no, no_

Hiccup came on to the stage, dressed in baggy jeans and a hoodie, with sunglasses and a baseball cap on backwards.

 **Hiccup:** _Belly button ya'll?_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Uh uh_

 **Hiccup:** _Belly button ya'll?_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Uh uh_

 **Hiccup(rapping):** _You say your belly button's missing, there's no reason for alarm, it's a common thing for reptiles, it won't_

 **Hiccup, Marla, Matt, Tap:** _do you any harm!_

 **Hiccup(rapping):** _You're technically a dragon, and with that much bein' said, you don't have an umbilical equivocal, so stop puzzlin' your head_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Belly button!_

 **Hiccup:** _Homie_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Uh, uh_ _Belly button!_

 **Hiccup:** _Homie_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Uh, uh_

 **Hiccup(rapping):** _You could opt for a prosthetic, but of course you'd have to know, it'd be covered by your shirt, but not your HMO_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Belly button!_

 **Hiccup:** _Homie_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Uh, uh, Belly button!_

 **Hiccup:** _Homie_

Hiccup left the stage to thunderous applause as the song continued.

 **Tony:** _A stylish something absent from my midriff's decor_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _There's this thing about himself he's never told you before. Baby! He needs to tell you somethin'!_

 **Tony:** _I need to tell you somethin'! I don't got a belly button!_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _No belly button, no_

 **Tony:** _Oh, I need to tell you somethin'!_

 **Marla, Matt, Tap:** _Can you figure it out? He don't got a belly button!_

 **Tony:** _Oh, I need to tell you something!_

The song ended to thunderous applause, but Tony had eyes only for Stella, who was giving him a starry-eyed look of adoration. After the show, she caught him backstage.

"So, you needed to tell me something, huh?" She asked playfully.

He coughed and shifted. "Uh, Yeah."

"Well, out with it." Still teasing.

"Stella...I love you. I've loved you for...years."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid that you'd..you know. Not love me back. Because I've got scales and I'm not fully human."

"You silly boy. I've loved you for a long time. I don't care if you're half-reptile."

"Really?"

"Really. Now get on with it and kiss me already."

"But..are you sure?"

Stella rolled her eyes, grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

"There. That proof enough?" She asked when she pulled away.

"Yeah."

She laughed and took his hand.

"Come on. Let's go find the rest of your little band."

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "Belly Button" by Boyz In The Sink (VeggieTales).**

* * *

 **A/N Hahahahahaha I hope that made you laugh too! Adios until next time! (Which will most likely be Monday...)**


	7. Make A Move

**A/N Hi, I'm back!**

 **So, lovely readers? How was your weekend? I had to go to a dentist appointment and they put freaking flouride on my teeth. Grr. It tasted crappy.**

 **You know...I suddenly feel the need to force the Dragon Riders of Berk to dance Zumba...why, you ask? Because my Spanish teacher makes me do it. She makes us dance to "Gasolina" by YouTube user shelliphillips. And the image of that made me laugh until I cried, heh heh heh...**

 **So.**

 **I know I said I had a playlist, and I just realized that I have 94 songs on it. Yes, you read that right, 94. So, instead of following the playlist in order, I'm just going to write whichever ones inspire me at the moment.**

 **WARNING TO YOU, LOVELY READERS: I have realized that one one-shot, JUST ONE, will be rated MA. For violence and blood and graphic torture. Why, you ask? Which one is it? It will be Heathens, inspired by the Twenty One Pilots song. Which reminds me, there's a pretty great YouTube HTTYD video for Heathens, it's by ToothlestheAlpha05.**

 **Review Replies:**

 **Pikachu2chu: They are, hahaha poor Hiccup.**

 **Guest: Thank you so much!**

 **Reba G (Guest): I certainly hope it will.**

* * *

 _Make A Move_

 **Time Period: Canon, RTTE**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid**

 **Genre: Humor, Parody**

 **Rating: T, for mention of pheromones**

 **Summary: Tuffnut notices some tension between Hiccup and Astrid, one night in the Clubhouse. He ropes the others into singing to Hiccup with him, and Hiccup and Astrid don't even notice.**

* * *

"And that's when I kicked her in the ankles!"

Everyone groaned and Ruffnut punched her brother as he finished recounting one of the the fights he'd had with her.

"Yes, Tuff, very nice," Astrid drawled, returning to her stew.

Tuffnut chortled and went back to his own, rubbing the developing bruise from his sister's fist.

As the night went on, Tuffnut noticed that Astrid and Hiccup seemed to gravitate around each other, talking carefully, as though afraid of saying the wrong thing, moving awkwardly, as if afraid to and also wanting to allow their skin to brush. And when their hands actually did accidentally brush, there was awkward word scrambling.

 _Hmmmm,_ Tuffnut thought. _This could be interesting._

He waited until they were deep in conversation, then gestured to the others.

"What do you want, Tuff?" Snotlout asked irately. "I want to go to bed."

"Have any of you four noticed the..tension bewteen Astrid and our fearless leader?" Tuffnut asked them in an undertone, gesturing towards where Astrid and Hiccup sat by the east door, talking about Thor knows what.

"Yeah, kind of." Fishlegs said. "Why?"

"Of course!" Ruffnut said.

"Yeah, it's really cute." Heather said. "And kind of frustrating. Can't they just get on with it already?"

"Get on with what?" Snotlout asked. Then when they all stared at him disbelievingly, his glance cut between them and the door a couple times before realizing. "Oh!. Of course. Yeah, me too. It's tragic, but Astrid will never go for all this," he said, flexing confidently.

Heather rolled her eyes before asking, "So what do you intend on doing about it?"

Tuffnut chuckled and rubbed his hands together. "Oh, do I have plans. Big plans." He carefully outlined his idea to them. Though Ruffnut and Snotlout were reluctant, he soon convinced them all to go along with it. Tuffnut approached the east door with an evil grin, the began putting his plan into action.

 **Tuffnut (rapping):** _There's somethin' going on around here. I been watchin' and the signals are clear. A nervous laugh when she brushes his skin. The sweaty palms, the big dopey grin._

 **Ruffnut, Snotlout, Heather, Fishlegs:** _Hmmm, mmm-mmm._

 **Tuffnut (rapping):** _With a giggle and a flip of her hair, I smell the pheromones in the air. Makin' goo goo eyes over their food, they need my help here in settin' the mood. Oh, you don't believe love is blind? Well, I got some friends who think otherwise. And here they are! Direct from that corner over there!_

 **Tuffnut:** _You gotta turn up the heat, you gotta butter the pan, you gotta_

 **All:** _Make a move and don't be afraid._

 **Tuffnut:** _Reach for her hand, maybe giver her a kiss, she's_

 **All:** _Waiting for a move to be made._

 **Tuffnut:** _So you_

 **R, S, H, F:** _gotta_

 **Tuffnut:** _gotta_

 **R, S, H, F,:** _gotta_

 **Tuffnut:** _gotta_

 **R, S, H, F :** _yeah_

 **All:** _You gotta make a move! You gotta make a move. You gotta make a move! You gotta make a move. You gotta make a move! You gotta make a move._

 **R, S, H, F** : _yeah!_

 **Tuffnut:** _Hiccup, I know you can't hear me right now. But if you could, I'd wanna say a few thangs to ya. I am in your corner, buddy. But you have got to tell this girl what you're really feelin', deep down. You might not get another chance! So just go on now. Open your heart..._

 **Hiccup:** Astrid...

 **Tuffnut:** Here we go.

 **Astrid:** Yes, Hiccup?

 **Tuffnut:** Ooh, he's gonna tell her!

 **Hiccup:** I, uh..

 **Tuffnut:** Oh, I can't take this!

 **Hiccup:** Well, I was..

 **Tuffnut:** Uh huh.

 **Hiccup:** I was wondering...

 **Tuffnut:** Okay...

 **Hiccup:** I was wondering...

 **Tuffnut:** Spit it out!

 **Hiccup:** Are..are you gonna..eat that?

 **All:** _MAN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?_

 **Tuffnut:** _You, gotta, make a move, you gotta shift into gear, you gotta_

 **All:** _Buckle down, and give it a whirl_

 **Tuffnut:** _The scene is set, right out of a book, with a sunset, and a beautiful girl, so you gotta_

 **R, S, H, F :** _gotta_

 **Tuffnut:** _gotta_

 **R, S, H, F :** _gotta_

 **Tuffnut:** _gotta_

 **R, S, H, F:** _gotta_

 **Tuffnut:** _gotta_

 **R, S, H, F :** _yeah!_

 **All:** _Make a move! You gotta. You gotta make a move. You gotta. You gotta make a move. YEAH!_

 **Tuffnut (rapping):** _You gotta use the sunset! What a beautiful sunset, baby! You gotta use the sunset baby!_

 **All:** _oooh, oh, yeah!_

 **Tuffnut (rapping):** _You've gotta reach for the ring, you gotta give it a shot. Grab the bull by the horns, or give up the plot! WHOO!_

 **Tuffnut:** _And make a move._

* * *

Tuffnut jerked awake, sitting straight up. "Ruffnut!"

"What? What? I was asleep! Tuff, if this is another one of your-"

"No, it's not. Listen, I just had the most perfect dream ever!"

"Let me guess. Was I dead?" Ruffnut rubbed her eyes and scowled at him across the hut, clearly grumpy.

"No, though that idea certainly has potential. It was a plan on how to get Hiccup and Astrid together!"

"Huh? But they usually are."

"No, I mean a plan on how to get them to confess their..." Tuff paused, then decided on the least insulting term. "Their _twoo wove._ "

"We already know they're in love. Why do they need to confess it?"

Tuffnut rolled his eyes. "WE know that, but THEY don't. WE need to get them to confess it _to each other._ "

"Oh. Okay!" Ruffnut rolled out of her bed and started towards the door. "Lets go!"

"Not now!" Tuffnut stared at his sister incredulously. "It's the middle of the night!"

"Fine." Ruffnut got back in her bed and rolled over. "G'night, Tuff. Again."

"Night, Ruff."

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by "Make A Move" from Shrek The Musical.**

* * *

 **A/N Awwwwww, twinsies!**

 **So yeah, for those who weren't sure, the whole song thing was Tuffnut's dream.**

 **There's something I really think you all should check out, it involves the twins. It's a YouTube video, "HTTYD Twins-Hiccup's Leather Pants" by XXFlamingwolfXX. It's hilarious, because it actually seems likely that the twins would do something like that. I'm sitting here at my alternative education place, StudentLink, and I couldn't stop laughing and everyone looked at me like I was insane. I kind of am...**

 **But yeah...I had one of the worst experiences of the school year so far this morning. I went to Spanish class, and we were allowed to choose our partner for conversation, and every single time I was left completely alone, no partner, and the teacher DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE. I almost cried the last time...**

 **One Parting Word (sentence? What the heck I don't care): Drunken Dragons!**


	8. Whip My Tail

**A/N Grrrrrrr. Pluck my life. I had a really hard conversation with my ex. It was...shameful and intense.**

 **I've got a cold, my school work is late, (I should totally be doing it right now, not writing this) and I just realized something.**

 **I AM A DUFF.**

 **You know that movie, DUFF? Designated Ugly Fat Friend? Well...what if said DUFF had no friends, like me? Said DUFF would become the Designated Ugly Fat FREAK. That's me. Add the fact that said DUFF is ignored, and said DUFF will become a P-DUFF. A Phantom Designated Ugly Fat Freak.**

 **Grrrrr. I feel the need to punch something that has a face. Grrrrr.**

 **Guess what I did yesterday? I invented a game called "Quack Tag." I was really hyper from sugar at the time, and surrounded by hyper middle-schoolers, so it was really weird. It's an every man for himself type game, you can tag anyone you want, but once you've tagged someone you have to go tag someone else. The point of the game is to tag as many people as you can, as many times as you can, without getting tagged as much yourself. Every time you tag someone, you have to say "quack." Oh, the insanity of me...**

 **Anyway...**

 **Review Replies:**

 **midnightsky0612: Hahaha so did I. :-)**

 **GreenBeanOfJelly: You just read something awesome, and I will certainly try to write a one-shot for that song.**

 **Pikachu2chu: Yes! I keep thinking that the others should notice at SOME point in RTTE, right? And I'm sorry about your troubles. :-( I hate partner excercises.**

* * *

 _Whip My Tail_

 **Time Period: Canon, Post-HTTYD 2**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid, Rufflout, Toothfly**

 **Genre: Humor**

 **Rating: K+, for rude humor and drunkeness**

 **Summary: Toothless, Stormfly, and all the other Dragon Riders' dragons get drunk at a party and and Toothless decides to teach the other dragons to "whip their tails."**

 **Things To Be Noted: Dragonese again. It will be like** _this._

* * *

"Hiccup, have you seen Stormfly?"

Hiccup looked up from his map. Astrid was standing there with a mug of mead in her hand. "No, I haven't. Why?"

Astrid gestured around the brightly decorated Great Hall with her free hand. "Because all of our dragons have disappeared. Anyway, why're you over here with that old map?" She slurred slightly and giggled a bit. "It's Snoggletog. You should be celebrating. C'mon." She tugged at his arm. "Come dance with me."

Hiccup laughed and allowed her to tug him to the dance floor, where they joined the whirling dancers.

Suddenly the doors flew open with a bang, and all the dragons ran in. Toothless, Stormfly, Hookfang, Meatlug, Barf, Belch, Skullcrusher, Cloudjumper, and a pack of Terrible Terrors.

"Toothless! What's going on, bud?" Hiccup asked happily.

Toothless gave his dragon laugh, wriggling, with his pupils changing size dramatically.

" _We totally weren't in the Storehouse. We didn't find the barrels of sweet stuff and wonder what it is. We didn't drink aaannnnyyy of it."_ Toothless slurred, staggering around.

Astrid burst out laughing. "Hiccup, your dragon is drunk!"

"So is yours," Hiccup pointed out. "In fact all of them are." It was true. However, Toothless was utterly ignoring the conversation.

 _"Nooooo,"_ he slurred, wobbling around on his hind legs, _"I didn't do aannnyy of that, noo, I was...in ROME!"_

"Oh, really?" Hiccup asked while Astrid cackled.

Toothless nodded emphatically. _"...or up the chimney,"_ he said thoughtfully, apparently unable to decide which excuse sounded more plausible.

Astrid collapsed in stitches of laughter, and Hiccup was struggling to keep the grin off his face.

"Toothless..." he said sternly. "You know that what's in those barrels is MEAD. You didn't go in there on purpose, did you?"

Stormfly staggered up, screeching in laughter. _"Yeeesss, he did. He brought us all in there for a little drink."_ She hiccuped and grinned. _"Dance with me, Night Fury!"_

Toothless and Stormfly staggered around the hall together, cackling in mad laughter. The Vikings, those who weren't already drunk, were literally laughing their helmets off.

 _"Oooh, oh, oh!"_ Iggy shouted. _"Let's all dance!"_

Toothless stopped and turned to Iggy with a mock bow that made him fall on his face. He quickly got up and proclaimed, _"I know! I will teach you all to whip your tails!"_

 _"To do what?"_ Hookfang slurred. _"Like this?"_ He whipped his tail to the side, knocking over Snotlout, who'd been making a move on Ruffnut.

Toothless shook his head, his pupils again changing size. _"Nooooo...heeey, Sharpshot! Remember that song I taught you?"_

 _"Yeah!"_ Sharpshot yelled from his place in the rafters. _"I taught it to the rest of themmm..."_ he gestured to the other Terrors.

 _"Okay. Then sing it! Hey you guys!"_ Toothless shouted to the other dragons. _"Do what the Terrors tell you!"_

Not even waiting to see if they would listen, he pushed them all into a line, circling the Hall. Not nose to tail, but side by side. They were all giggling and the Vikings and the sober dragons gathered around to watch. The Terrors began.

 **All(Terrors):** _I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth_

 **Sharpshot:** _Just whip it_

The larger dragons obeyed, giggling and snorting as they whipped their tails back and forth to the beat that Sharpshot began to tap out on a collection of helmets that Sneaky had brought him.

 **All:** _I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth_

 **Sharpshot:** _Whip it real good_

 **All:** _I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth_

The Vikings were enjoying this immensely. The dragons who were dancing just kept going, whipping their tails back and forth, completely oblivious to anything around them, giggling and staggering. Hiccup was doubled over laughing, and Astrid had ended up on the floor, curled up while she laughed so hard her stomach hurt.

 **Sharpshot:** _Hop up out the bed, turn my swag on, Pay no attention to them haters 'cause we whip 'em off. And we ain't doing noting wrong, so don't tell me nothin' I'm just tryin' to have fun, so keep the party jumpin'_

 **All:** _So what's up, yeah_

 **Sharpshot:** _And when we don't know what to do we turn our backs and whip our tails and just shake 'em off, shake 'em off, shake 'em off_

 **All:** _Don't let haters keep me off my grind, Keep my head up and I know I'll be fine, Keep fighting until I get there_

 **Sharpshot:** _When I'm down and I feel like giving up, like giving up_

 **All:** _I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth_

 **Sharpshot:** _Just whip it_

 **All:** _I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth_

 **Sharpshot:** _Whip it real good...I'm gonna get more shine then a little bit, Soon as I hit the stage, applause I'm hearin' it. Whether it's black stars, black cars, I'm feelin' it, But can't none of them whip it like I do_

 **All:** _I, I gets in in mm, yeah, go hard, When they see me pull up, I whip it real hard, real hard, I whip it real hard._

 **Sharpshot:** _Don't let haters keep me off my grind, Keep my head up and I know I'll be fine, Keep fighting until I get there, when I'm down and I feel like giving up, giving up_

 **All: (6x)** _I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth (just whip it) I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth (whip it real good)_

 **Sharpshot:** _All my people if you feel me, come on, do it do it, whip your tail. Don't matter if it's long, short, Do it do it, whip your tail, your tail, your tail!_

 **All: (6x)** _I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth (just whip it) I whip my tail back and forth I whip my tail back and forth (whip it real good)_

 **Sharpshot:** _I whip it._

The dragons all collapsed to the floor, shrieking and cackling in crazy laughter, and the Vikings laughed heartily, not noticing, for the moment, that their helmets were missing. Hiccup came over to Toothless and made sure that the dragon could see him laughing. The sober dragons laughed too, at the sight of their alpha dead drunk.

"Well," Astrid said. "Maybe we should keep the dragons out of the mead in the future."

"Yes," said Hiccup with a stern glare at Toothless, which was completely fake. "Maybe we should."

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "Whip My Tail" by The Chippettes.**

* * *

 **A/N Hello, goodbye, does it really even matter at this point, when you're crying with laughter? ;-)**

 **I feel comfortable with saying where I'm from online now.**

 **I am from Vashon Island in the Pacific Northwest, by Seattle.**

 **Now you know. Hello, fellow Vashonites! If you go to the high school here, you'll know me by the glasses, leather boots, and the big hood on my coat. Also that the only class i go to is first period Spanish.**

 **Love to you all!**

 **XOXO**


	9. They Won't Let Go

**A/N Hello again, lovely readers!**

 ***lowers voice***

 **You know what today is?**

 ***starts shouting excitedly***

 **IT'S OCTOBER!**

 ***lowers voice again***

 **And do you know what that means?**

 ***shouts again***

 **That means it's time for Halloween one-shots! YAHOOOOOO!**

 ***normal voice***

 **Hahahaha I love Halloween. Love love love love love it. I always have two costumes and spend a year planning and collecting them and trying to make them as authentic as possible. This year I'm going as Puss In Boots (Dreamworks, and yes I'm a girl but so what, girls can dress as guys if they want)at night and a Spriggan lady from the Fairyland books all day.**

 **But the one-shots!**

 **A couple years ago, my mother had us write one page a day. That was our English. We had assignments, like, in October we had to write anything that had to do with Halloween, in December we had to write about Christmas, stuff like that, but almost EVERYTHING I wrote was HTTYD. So, I have a book of HTTYD one-shot IDEAS, and I'm only going to write the best ones. I think I'll write them all as separate one-shots though, so check those emails!**

 **WARNING TO MY READERS: The next chapter WILL be M-RATED. Not this one, the next one. Just warning you ahead of time.**

 **Anyway...**

 **Review Replies:**

 **Pikachu2chu: Thank you!**

 **SilverNightFury: Thank you! And OH MY GODS YES I DO! I LOVE SOLANGELO!**

 **midnightsky0612: Tsk, tsk, tsk, how could you be dead when you are alive to write that review? ;-)**

 **MAD Marty: Hahaha thank you!**

* * *

 _They Won't Let Go_

 **Time Period: RTTE, slight AU spin, the characters have technology (but only technology that has to do with music).**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: ...I don't know...Parody maybe?**

 **Rating: T, for...teenage references? I don't know...**

* * *

"So..." Heather walked over and yanked her axe out of the tree.

"You and Hiccup are a thing, right?"

Astrid lost her grip on her own axe, and it flew through the air and almost hit Smidvarg...again.

"What?! No! We're just friends!" She exclaimed.

Heather raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh."

"Seriously!" Astrid gestured uselessly. "Just..friends."

Trying to hide her blush, the blonde went and retrieved her axe. When she came back, she was ready to tease Heather in return. Before she could say anything, Heather asked her a question.

"I never did tell you guys what I was up to for the past few years, did I?"

"No, you didn't." Astrid put her axe away over her back. "Were you planning to?"

Heather shifted from foot to foot. Astrid peered at her.

"...Heather?"

"Uh. Well. I spent most of my time gathering..information on many different subjects."

"And?"

"And said information was usually detrimental to someone's health."

"Ah. Say no more." Astrid patted her friend on the shoulder.

"But," Heather continued, failing to hide her blush, "the method in which I acquired said information was...questionable."

Astrid frowned. "I've threatened people too," she said. "It's surprisingly effective."

Heather took a deep breath. "Not that kind of questionable."

Astrid looked slightly confused, but Heather wasn't looking at her as she nervously continued.

"I was..sort of intending on using the same method to..get information out of Hiccup, but I swear, I wouldn't have gone through with it, now that I see how you two look at each other-"

"Heather." Astrid interrupted. "What the Hel are you talking about?"

Heather stopped. "You know," she said after a short pause. "I wrote a song about it."

"About what you've been up to?" Astrid asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, let's hear it."

* * *

Heather set up her speakers in the Clubhouse. "This might get kinda loud," she warned Astrid. Astrid nodded, and Heather hit PLAY.

 _I had me a boy, turned him into a man._

 _I showed him all the things that he didn't understand, whoa._

 _And then I let him go._

Astrid gave Heather a look, and she nodded, blushing.

 _Now there's one in California who's been cursin' my name,_

 _'Cause I found me a better lover in the UK, hey_

 _Until I made my getaway._

Hiccup and Toothless wandered in, no doubt drawn by the music, and Astrid gestured for Hiccup to sit down. He did, listening to the voice he recognized as Heather's.

 _One, two, three, they gonna run back to me,_

 _'Cause I'm the best baby that they never got to keep_

 _One, two, three, they gonna run back to me._

 _They always wanna come but they never wanna leave_

 _Ex's, and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me_

 _Like gho-oh-osts they want me_

 _To make them all, all, all,_

 _They won't let go_

 _Ex's and oh's._

Ruff and Tuff poked their heads in, then grinned and sat down when they realized what was going on.

 _I had a summer lover down in New Orleans,_

 _Kept him warm in the winter, left him frozen in the spring, my, my_

 _How the seasons go by._

 _I get high, and I love to get low_

 _So the hearts keep breakin' and the heads jus' roll_

 _You know, that's how the story goes._

Snotlout and Fishlegs appeared at the same time, clearly wondering what was going on.

 _One, two, three, they gonna run back to me_

 _'Cause I'm the best baby that they never got to keep_

 _One, two, three, they gonna run back to me_

 _They always wanna come but they never wanna leave_

 _Ex's, and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me_

 _Like gho-oh-osts they want me_

 _To make 'em all, all, all,_

 _They won't let go_

 _My ex's, and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me_

 _Like gho-oh-osts they want me_

 _To make 'em all, all, all,_

 _They won't let go_

 _Ex's and Oh's._

Astrid mouthed "Hiccup?" at Heather, who shrugged and nodded. Nobody else noticed.

 _One, two, three, they gonna run back to me_

 _Climbin' over mountains ans a'sailin' over seas._

 _One, two, three, they gonna run back to me,_

 _They always wanna come but they never wanna leave_

 _Ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me_

 _Like gho-oh-osts they want me_

 _To make 'em all, all, all,_

 _They won't let go!_

 _Ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me_

 _Like gho-oh-osts they want me_

 _To make 'em all, all, all,_

 _They won't let go  
_

 _Ex's and Oh's._

The song finished, and everyone looked at Heather with new degrees of respect.

"So..yeah." She said into the silence, getting up and disconnecting her speakers. "That's what I've been up to."

Astrid got up and hugged her. "And that's perfectly alright," she said, sending a glare at the others, as if to dare them to disagree.

"Uh, yeah, perfectly alright," Hiccup hastened to agree, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing at Toothless. The others were silent. Apparently they didn't want to say anything that might spark Astrid's temper.

"So what do you do for fun around here?" Heather asked. Astrid smiled. "Come on, I'll show you. Bring your dragon."

Heather smirked. "Okay.'

* * *

 **This one-shot was inspired by the song "Ex's and Oh's" by Elle King.**

* * *

 **A/N Hi!**

 **I expected to post this yesterday, but the computer lost Wifi and erased over half of what I'd worked on, sooo..that didn't happen.**

 **I've always just looked at Heather and thought, "she could be doing something with that," and I listened to this song for a while and I thought, "Yeeesss, this is perfect."**

 **Darlings. I love your reviews. You know that. But I MUST ASK YOU to refrain from putting cuss words in them. I don't cuss, I don't support cussing, and I ask those who cuss to refrain where I am involved. THANK YOU.**


	10. Life Has A Price

**A/N Hello, lovely readers!**

 **As much as I would love to keep this fic child-appropriate, there are things in life that just aren't. And no, I am not referring to sex. I have never and will never write a smut-fic. I'm serious. I did ONCE, ONCE, and my mother found it and acted like it was the end of the world. Yet another reason why I hate Jack Frost...**

 **Anyway...**

 **Review Replies:**

 **MAD Marty: Thanks! And that is sooo coool. :-) We HTTYD fans are all crazy, aren't we?**

 **misnightsky0612: Thank you!**

* * *

 _Life Has A Price_

 **Time Period: Canon, Pre-HTTYD**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: Hurt/Comfort**

 **Rating: M, for self-harm and a suicide attempt.**

* * *

Hiccup slowly closed up the forge for the night, putting away tools, banking the fire, and hanging up weapons. He slowly made his way to his house, avoiding Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut, who were on their way to the Great Hall. He watched them. A bit with apprehension. A bit with jealousy. Why couldn't anyone see him as a friend? Well, except for Gobber. He didn't count. He was more like an uncle.

Hiccup closed the front door and walked into an empty house. His father was in the Great Hall again. He waited until he had climbed the stairs to his room and collapsed onto his chair before breaking down. He ran his hands down his face and then wrapped his arms around his legs, which he had drawn up to his chest. He knew he was on the verge of tears. He also knew that they wouldn't come. They almost never did. Most nights it wasn't this bad. Most nights he could hold off the agony.

But not tonight.

Tonight Hiccup felt as if his entire body was the heaviest of anvils, as if his mind was shattered, as if his heart were being crushed. His chest heaved, panting as if trying to expel the pain with each breath. Desperate to stop, he bit his knuckles, hard. He slowly calmed down, then realized that tonight was one of the nights he'd have to do something about the pain. Had to make it stop. And, if not stop, then fade, dull. Just for a little while. He reached into a drawer on his desk and brought out his dagger. It had been a Snoggletog present from his father a few years ago. Hiccup hadn't really ever used it.

Except to make the scars.

Scars were strange. When they were fresh, they were red, angry, sore. Then the soreness faded and they turned purple. Then mottled pink. Then they faded, faded, faded, to white. Thick white lines. Hiccup had all kinds of scars. Red, purple, pink, white. All over. Wrists, arms, shoulders, chest, stomach, thighs.

He hadn't meant to, the first time. He'd been sharpening his charcoal stick, trying to get the finest of lines. The knife had slipped. He'd watched the blade slice into his wrist. He'd watched it clatter to the desk. He'd felt...a lifting. A lessening. The dull agony in his soul had been replaced by sharp, stinging pain in his wrist. He'd been curious. Would it have the same effect a second time? So he'd lifted the knife. He'd pressed it against his other wrist. Again, he felt the internal pain ease, and been replaced by sharp throbbing.

Addictions were easy, he soon discovered. Easy to slip into, impossible to escape. Easily in but not easily out, as the lobster said in the lobster pot. Dark, dry humor was his only way to find any comfort in the shame of what he knew to be wrong: hurting himself. But it was always such a welcome relief, to push the knife against his skin and have his pain ease with every drop of blood that left his body. He knew he was addicted. He knew it was a problem. But he couldn't stop.

But tonight, staring at the knife, choking back a dry sob, a different thought hit Hiccup. He shoved it away as quickly as he could, but it left a scorching imprint in his brain. He took a deep breath. He steeled himself. And he slowly let it back.

Why not just...end it?

No one would miss him, they all made that quite clear. Well...maybe Gobber would. but what was one person against a village full? Especially on _this_ particular day. It would be nice to leave behind the disappointed looks, the disgust, the daily bruises from Snotlout's eager fists. But even still...

Yes.

He'd do it.

He didn't even care anymore that suicide was the greatest act of cowardice there was. He didn't care that the village would only see him as more Useless after he was gone. He didn't care about anything anymore. He just wanted the pain to _end._

With that thought, Hiccup lowered the blade. It slid into his skin with the smallest of sounds, slicing deeper than he'd ever dared to go before. He watched the red pouring over his arm, dripping out of skin, over bone, splashing onto his desk, running onto the floor. He raised the knife to his other wrist...

Only to be interrupted by a knocking on his front door. He paused, the deep throbbing in his wrist distracting him. Deciding he had imagined it, he started to move the knife again.

"Hiccup? Are you home?"

He froze. _Astrid. What?_

Sudden panic seized him.

"Ye-yeah, I'm home, uh...hang on a minute, I'll be right down!" he called out. He frantically pulled a spare bandage from his desk drawer and wrapped it around his wrist as tight as he could. He'd take it off when Astrid left, he'd keep going. As he stumbled down the stairs, he realized he still had the knife in his hand. Panicked, he put it on the table, trying to hide it behind a mug.

He yanked open the door and leaned against it, dizzy but trying to act natural.

"Hey, Astrid, hi, um, uh, what brings you here?" He faintly registered that he was slurring slightly.

Astrid peered at him confusedly.

"...Hiccup, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, why on earth wouldn't I be. Just, you know, hanging out at home..."

Astrid gasped. "Hiccup, is that _blood_?" She demanded, pointing at his wrist. He looked down to see that the bandage had come slightly unraveled, and blood was dripping from it.

He slumped against the door as a wave of dizziness washed over him, and made a weak attempt to hide his wrist.

"N-no..isss..is'not...I'm fine..." His tongue felt like a wad of wool in his mouth. His lips were numb.

"Hiccup, you are _not_ fine." Astrid grabbed his uninjured arm and dragged him into his house, half-carrying him to a bench by the fire. He all but fell onto it as she snatched at the end of the bandage and wrapped it tighter around his wrist, but it was getting slippery.

"Hiccup, where's another bandage I can use?" She snapped at him. He stared at her uncomprehendingly. Why was she helping him?

"Hiccup!" He shook his head.

"Upstairs...desk."

She darted away, and he slumped against a wooden beam, hearing her move around upstairs. Hearing the drawer rattle closed. Hearing her footsteps pause for a long moment. Hearing them clomp down the stairs and back over to him.

Astrid unwrapped the red bandage from around Hiccup's wrist and replaced it with the clean one, wrapping it better than he'd done in his panicked state. He felt dizzy. And tired. And confused. Why was she helping him?

When Astrid spoke again, her voice was somewhat calmer. She knotted the bandage quickly and efficiently and asked him her first question.

"Hiccup, there was a lot of blood in your room. Why? What happened?"

As if she didn't know.

He didn't answer and she leaned closer, staring at him with that angry intensity she usually reserved for people who messed with her.

"Hiccup?"

His eyes involuntarily flicked to the knife on the table. She followed his gaze and gasped slightly. She looked at the bloody fingerprints on the handle, then at Hiccup's own hands, and he knew she was getting the picture.

"Hiccup...why?" She whispered, clearly horrified.

Hiccup snorted. "Why..do you..care?" He muttered. She leaned back, slightly affronted, but Hiccup had just gotten started.

"You're jus' like...the rest of themm...they don't give a damn for anything that has to do with me..I'm the Useless, remember?...And...I ruin everything...stupid life...I've got nothing here...I just thought..maybe...maybe death hurts less than life."

He stopped, he was dizzy again.

Astrid stared at him in horror. Then her gaze turned hard again.

"Listen up, Hiccup." She shook his shoulder, made him look at her. "Hiccup, you're not useless. Those three are muttonheads," she said, referring to Snotlout and the twins. "Everyone is good for something, no matter who you are or what you've done. My mom told me that. I know your mom...isn't around to tell you stuff like that, but take my word on it, okay?"

Astrid took a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm not good at talking to people. But please listen to me. You're. Not. Useless."

Hiccup dropped his eyes to his bandaged wrist.

"Why did you come here, anyway?"

Astrid sat back again.

"Apparently Gothi told my mom I should come see you. And it was a good thing I did."

Hiccup looked up at her. "Really. Why?"

Astrid shifted uncomfortably. "Okay, fine." She finally said. "...I came to say happy birthday."

Hiccup blinked in surprise. Out of all the things she could of said, he had not expected that.

"S'not even my 'real birthday.'" He shrugged. "That's usually when Snotlout and the twins remember that I get older.."

Astrid gave him a look. "What do you mean by that?"

Hiccup shrugged. "That's when they hit me the hardest."

Astrid gaped. "They _hit_ you? Hiccup, how long has this been going on?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "About ten years. Wouldn't have expected anyone to care, but was noticing beneath you, too?" He asked spitefully. Then his eyes widened. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.

Astrid shook her head. "No, Hiccup, you're right. Someone should have noticed. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Hiccup gave her a pointed look. "Do you really need to ask?"

"No. I'm so sorry, Hiccup."

Hiccup wouldn't look at her. Astrid sighed.

"Hiccup, I have to go. I told my dad I was checking the Great Hall to see if they were serving mutton or fish. He'll be wondering where I am. But I want you to promise me something, okay?"

"Depends on what it is."

She made him look at her again.

"Don't go back to..what you were doing before I came here. And if you ever feel like doing that again, you _will_ come and tell me. I'll help you. Promise?"

Hiccup gazed at her dully. She shook him a little. "Promise?"

He dropped his gaze. "Promise."

She let go. "Okay."

"Astrid..." he stopped her.

"Yeah?"

"Please don't tell anyone about this. Please."

"Okay. But you should."

She turned to leave, and he distinctly heard her say, "Happy fifteenth, Hiccup." Then the door closed, and she was gone.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "Undercover" by Hive Riot.**

* * *

 **A/N ...sorry about this being so depressing.**

 **In case anyone was wondering, yes, I do write from experience, except my first time was my fingernails, and I never tried the last thing...did want to though. Some days I still do. But I won't. Wanna know why? Because I made a promise not to. And my word is my bond.**

 **...Wow. Getting deep and depressing here, huh? Sorry.**

 **Okay, I have a question for you guys.**

 **OTP. What doe that stand for?**

 **Thanks for reading this, and for all those faves, follows, and reviews!**

 **Love you all!**

 **XOXO**


	11. Oh, No! What We Gonna Do?

**A/N Hello again, lovely readers.**

 **So, I'm sorry about the depressing chapter yesterday...it just ended up being that way.**

 **My friend is reading me news stories about the creepy clown epidemic...so if you see a clown, KICK IT IN THE NOSE!**

 **By the way, if anyone caught the Once Upon A Time reference in the last chapter, you get a virtual Toothless plushie! Yay!**

 **Have you guys ever let your mind wander, and then when it came back you had _no idea_ where it had been? I do that pretty much every day on the school bus...just zone out, and then when the bus gets to my stop I get up, and I'm slightly disoriented 'cause my mind has been off...I don't even know where. Mostly I get the impression it's been on Berk...but I dunno...**

 **Anyway...**

 **Review Replies:**

 **BooksRockGirl so what: Well, it was sort of meant to be emotionally strong.**

 **MAD Marty: Thank you! I kind of think that Stoick might be a Hiccstrid shipper too...remember in HTTYD 2 when he yells "that's my future daughter-in-law?" Hahaha I think someone really, really wants to have Astrid Hofferson become Astrid Haddock...**

 **misnightsky0612: Well, that was sort of the point...but thank you!**

 **Reba G (Guest): Thanks. That means a lot.**

* * *

 _Oh, No! What We Gonna Do?_

 **Time period: Canon, Pre-HTTYD**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: Parody**

 **Rating: K+, for rudeness and slight violence**

 **Summary: Snotlout is really jealous of his cousin. So he and the twins make a plot to force Stoick's approval elsewhere...and make Hiccup out as a screw-up.**

* * *

"Well done, Hiccup!" Stoick smiled down at his six-year old son, who beamed up at him.

"I did it right?"

"Yes, Hiccup, you did!"

Snotlout watched his uncle and his cousin. He was mad. Hiccup was so small. He shouldn't be getting all the praise, Snotlout should. Snotlout grumpily went off to find Ruffnut and Tuffnut.

"You guys!"

"Hey, Snot. What is it?" Tuff lolled on the steps to the Great Hall. His sister was clearly planning on jumping on him. Snotlout decided not to tell him.

"Have you noticed how much Stoick is being nice to Hiccup?"

Ruffnut paused. "Yeah, it's annoying. He's so Useless. Why would Stoick be nice to him?"

Snotlout scowled. "I don't know, but we need to do something about it."

Tuffnut shot up onto his feet. Ruffnut looked disappointed.

"Yes! We do need to do something!" Tuffnut exclaimed.

His face fell. "But what?"

Snotlout's eyes lit up with an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful, idea.

"I might know.." he said.

* * *

Off in the woods, Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut convened.

"So what is this plan, Snot?" Ruffnut asked.

"Yeah, we gotta do something." Tuff said.

Snotlout gave them a wicked grin.

 **Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut: (2x)** _Oh, no, what we gonna do? The chief likes Hiccup more than me and you. Oh no, what we gonna do? We gotta get him outta here._

 **Snotlout:** _We could throw him, in the dungeon. We could let him, rot in jail._

 **Tuffnut:** _We could drag him, to the ocean. Have him eaten, by a whale._

 **Ruffnut:** _We could throw him in the river, let him float awhile,_

 **Tuffnut:** _Then we'll all sit back and watch him meet a hungry Sandidile._

 **Snotlout:** _We could tie him to a dragon's back and send him off to Ur, with a winter hat without a brim, a boot without a spur_

 **Ruffnut:** _We could give him jelly donuts, and then take them all away_

 **Tuffnut:** _We could fill his ears with cheeseballs and his nostrils with sorbet!_

 **Ruffnut:** _We could use him as a footstool or do somethin' that would irk_

 **All:** _Then tie him up and beat him up and throw him off of Berk._

Snotlout held up a finger.

"Or..."

The twins gathered around as he whispered his plan to them.

"Okay, so we gotta make it so Hiccup never does anything right. We have to break his things he builds, we have to set things up so he breaks stuff."

"I dig it!" Tuffnut exclaimed.

"It's sneaky." Ruff observed.

"And it just might work!" Snotlout finished.

 **All:** _Oh, no, what we gonna do? Oh, no, what we gonna do?_

 **Tuffnut:** _We could use him as a footstool or do somethin' that would irk_

 **All:** _Then tie him up and beat him up and throw him off of Berk._

* * *

 **This One-shot was inspired by the song "Oh, No! What We Gonna Do?" by Boyz In The Sink (Veggie Tales)**

* * *

 **A/N So, the idea for this chapter was that Hiccup is really too smart to let all his inventions fail and things be destroyed, so I was thinking that SOMEONE *cough, Snotlout, cough* wanted all that to happen and orchestrated it.**

 **Wow, that was a short chapter. Because it was so short, I MIGHT update again today. I'm not sure.**

 **I am getting excited (Way, way, way, TOO excited) for Halloween!**

 **I really don't know what to say...**

 **Love you guys!**

 **XOXO**


	12. Once I Called You Cousin

**A/N I have entirely too much computer time to be healthy.**

 **TOO MUCH!**

 **Hey guys, I found the funniest HTTYD crack-vid...I forget what it was called, but the funniest scene in it is Hiccup, speaking in a British accent(during RTTE), and he's annoying everyone else. Now, he knows that they're annoyed, but they don't know that he knows that they know. So, finally, Heather gets fed up and asks him to stop, but he just gives her that "Hiccup 'bad boy' smirk" that all us fangirls go crazy over, and says (still in his British accent, but in a low, naughty tone) "You're just jealous because I sound like a rock star."**

 **I laughed so hard I cried...and got the hiccups. Which just made me laugh harder, 'cause, you know...Hiccup, hiccups...**

 **Virtual Toothless plushie to whoever caught the Grinch reference in the last chapter!**

 **Anyway...**

 **Review Replies:**

 **Pikachu2chu: (Chap. 10) Thank you. That means a lot. (Chap. 11) YES, SO EVIL!**

* * *

 _Once I Called You Cousin_

 **Time Period: AU, main character's age 20**

 **ship(s): None**

 **Genre: War, Angst**

 **Rating: M, for violence, war, and hate**

 **Summary: Hiccup grew up with his cousin, Snotlout, who enslaved the dragons. But Hiccup has the soul of a dragon, and when he accidentally kills a Viking slave driver he runs away and lives as one. Until the dragon gods call him to command Snotlout to "let my people go."**

* * *

Hiccup leaned on his staff and stared out over Berk. From his high vantage point he could see everything. He sighed. He really didn't want to do this. But he had to. He raised the staff once more.

 **Dragon gods:** _Thus saith the gods, thus saith the gods, thus saith the gods, thus saith the gods, thus saith the gods, thus saith the gods, thus saith the gods, thus saith the gods...I send a pestilence and plague, into your house, into your bed, into your dreams, into your streets, into your drink, into your bread, upon your cattle, on your sheep, upon your oxen in the field, into your dreams, into your sleep, until you break, until you yield. I Send. My Swarms. I Send. My Hordes. Thus saith the lords._

Hiccup stared at the Chief's house as dark clouds began to gather over Berk, and the water in the streams and ponds began to boil.

 **Hiccup:** _Once I called you cousin, once I though the chance to make you laugh, was all I ever wanted._

Blood and fire were rampant in the village. Houses burned and dragons roared and the Vikings were overwhelmed, running, screaming, dodging burning rubble.

 **Dragon gods:** _I send the thunder from the sky, I send the fire raining down_

 **Hiccup:** _And even now, I wish the gods had chose another. Serving as your foe on their behalf, is that last thing that I wanted._

Burning hail rained down on the village, burning it, drowning it. The fire melted the hail, and it drenched everything, at the same time that the fire scorched and roared. Hiccup walked through the village, grieving as he watched all the death. The people were dying, and Snotlout did nothing. They were burning, drowning, they were bitten, they were poisoned. Children wept over their parent's bodies before succumbing themselves.

 **Dragon gods:** _I send a hail of burning ice, on every field on every town_

 **Hiccup:** _This was my home. All this pain and devastation, how it tortures me inside._

He glared up at the Great Hall, where he knew his cousin was hiding.

 **Hiccup:** _All the innocent who suffer, from your stubbornness and pride!_

A great swarm of locusts blew in on the wind, biting, gnawing, destroying Berk's food supply. Those who had survived the first wave were slowly turning into haggard skeletal wretches, giving what scraps of food there was to the few children. Berk was slowly starving.

 **Dragon gods:** _I send the locusts on the wind, such as the world has never seen, on every leaf, on every stalk, until there's nothing left that's green. I Send. My Scourge. I Send. My Swords. Thus saith the lords._

Hiccup watched, horrified. Did Snotlout not see what was happening? Did he care at all? Hiccup had lived here. He had loved this place, he had loved these people. Hiccup became angrier and angrier. A chief protects his own, and Snotlout was not protecting. Why did he not care that his people were dying?

 **Hiccup:** _You who I called cousin, why must you call down another blow!?_

 **Dragon gods:** _I Send. My Scourge. I Send. My Swords._

 **Hiccup:** _Let my people go._

 **Dragon gods:** _Thus saith the lords_

 **Hiccup & Dragon gods: **_Thus saith the lords._

Snotlout was furious. He had built a kingdom, and of course Hiccup had to come along and ruin it. It was black magic, it must be, Snotlout did not believe that the dragons had gods. Dragons, to Snotlout, were nothing but animals, there to serve man. He saw Hiccup everywhere. On roofs. At the bottom of the Great Steps. Everywhere at once, staring at Snotlout accusingly.

 **Snotlout:** _You who I called cousin, how could you have come to hate me so? Is this what you wanted?_

 **Dragon gods:** _I send the swarm, I send the hordes_

 **Snotlout:** _Then let my resolve harden, and never mind how high the cost may grow, this will still be so, I will never Let. Your. People. Go._

 **Dragon gods:** _Thus saith the lords.._

 **Hiccup:** _Thus saith the lords..._

 **Snotlout:** _I will not_

 **Snotlout, _Hiccup, Dragon gods:_** _ Let (your) my people go!_

A darkness covered Berk, smothering everyone in black, black, black.

Hiccup made his way through the dark, to tell Snotlout one last time. He didn't want to force the next punishment. But if Snotlout wouldn't let the dragons go, Hiccup would have to. At least Astrid was far away. At least she was safe.

Hiccup crouched in the rafters, peering down through the dark to where Snotlout sat on his throne, on the dais in the Great Hall. A single candle sputtered and shone. Snotlout was bent over a cup of water. Hiccup could tell it was water. Ever since he'd discovered his dragon soul he'd had heightened senses, enhanced flexibility, stronger muscles.

He dropped to the ground in front of the throne, causing Snotlout to jump.

"You! What are you doing here?"

Hiccup cocked his head to the side, much like his dragon companions did.

"I am here to tell you one last time. Let my people go."

Snotlout snorted. "Of course you are. No."

Hiccup's crouch deepened. "Snotlout, there is something else coming. Something else that's horrible, it's awful. If you don't take this chance, it will be too late."

Snotlout started muttering. "Too late, it'll be too late. DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

He suddenly exploded, shouting and throwing his cup at Hiccup's head. Hiccup easily dodged it and looked back at his cousin with pleading eyes.

"Please, Snotlout, I don't want to do this. To you, to anyone. But I will have to if you don't listen."

Snotlout sighed heavily and sank back into his chair. "When did we come to this, Hiccup? We were so close. Why did it have to be this way?"

Hiccup cocked his head again and fixed his cousin with a contemplative gaze. Snotlout shivered. Hiccup looked too much like a dragon when he did that.

"Because, Snotlout, we are on opposite sides of a war. I'm not human. And I can't act like one when my kind is being oppressed."

Snotlout shifted. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Father?"

Snotlout's mouth snapped shut. Hiccup whirled around and sank into a crouch, snarling. They both relaxed when they saw who it was.

"Strifelout, what are you doing here?" Snotlout demanded. The boy shrank back. His torch guttered.

"I'm scared, father." He answered. He stared at Hiccup in horror. "What's he doing here? Isn't he the demon who did all this!?"

Snotlout's face and grown hard and angry again. "Yes, Son. Yes, he is." He glared at Hiccup. "I will never let the dragons go. There's nothing you can do about it. Now go. I've had enough. Just..go."

Hiccup tried one last time.

"Snotlout, you have to listen. Think of your son!"

"I am. I am providing for him. And you will leave. NOW."

Hiccup bowed his head. He gave one despairing look at the child who watched him in terror, then climbed back up. Into the rafters, onto the roof. There he called Toothless.

"Did he listen?" The dragon rumbled, when they were flying high above the island.

Hiccup didn't answer.

"Hiccup?"

The only response Toothless got was a muffled sob. Then Hiccup's choked voice.

"I don't want to do this. It's cruel. It's barbaric. It makes us no better than them!"

"We have no choice."

"I know."

Tears streaming down his face, dripping onto his leather armor, Hiccup raised the staff, and the last plague began.

The death of the first born children.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "The Plagues" from "The Prince Of Egypt."**

* * *

 **A/N Wow...this one was depressing too...sorry.**

 **I was up till midnight last night making flashcards for Spanish adjectives. Our teacher told us to put pictures, not English words, on the other side. So what did I do? I went Disney/Dreamworks crazy.**

 **Alta-Valka**

 **Bajo-Peregrin Took**

 **Feo-Jabba the Hutt**

 **Guapo-Hiccup (duh...)**

 **Fuerte-Astrid**

 **Debil-Hiccup (in the first movie..)**

 **Intelectual-Belle**

 **Artista-Rapunzel**

 **Atletico-Mulan**

 **Educada-Minerva McGonagol**

 **Pacifisto-Magic hour moment between Hiccup and Toothless (you know, the "hand thing"...)**

 **Divertido-Ruffnut and Tuffnut**

 **Anarquista-Jack Sparrow**

 **Gordo-Fishlegs**

 **Flaca-Ruffnut**

 **Blanco-The Snow Wraith**

 **Negro-Toothless**

 **Mulato-Prince Naveen**

 **Tonto-Tuffnut Thorston**

 **Rico-Scrooge McDuck**

 **Pobre-Oliver Twist**

 **Lista-Hermione Granger**

 **Vieja-Gothi**

 **Joven-Toddler Rapunzel**

 **Rubia-Rapunzel**

 **Moreno-Eret, son of Eret**

 **Castano-Guy (from The Croods)**

 **Generoso-Aladdin**

 **Tacano-Mildew**

 **Intelegente-Viggo Grimborn**

 **Arrogante-Snotlout Jorgenson**

 **Humilde-Snow White**

 **Rapido-Toothless**

 **Lento-Kronk**

 **Pelirrojo-Merida**

 **Just goes to show how crazy I am...**

 **My mother freaked out yesterday because I have lost ten pounds since starting school. I've been skipping breakfast and lunch because I just don't have time for them...**

 **She made me go to the doctor when all she had to do was order me to eat more...Grrrrrrr. Made me mad.**

 **Love you all!**

 **XOXO**


	13. Cause I Got Friends

**A/N Wow, a lot of dark(ish) chapters lately...just wow. I'm just really tired and looking at my book and choosing the first one I see.**

 **This was originally going to be chapter twelve (and chapter twelve was originally going to be chapter twenty-eight) but whatever.**

 **I found something HILARIOUS. So, everyone knows about the running joke about potatoes in HTTYD? Because of "How To Cheat A Dragon's Curse?" Well, I found the funniest thing for it...So, Hiccup is drunk, and he goes and says: "People have skin." Then he pauses. Then he says: "And potatoes have skin." Then he pauses again. Then he says: "SO...WE ARE ALL POTATOES." Astrid just gives him a look and is like, "what the heck, Hiccup?" #Logic, right? :-)**

 **Anyway...**

 **Review Replies:**

 **silverwolf: I will give it a listen and see what it says to me!**

 **Pikachu2chu: Well, I've known that song since I was five (or somewhere close) and it's just always given me the feels...it's just so sad.**

 **Martyn(Guest): I'll see what I can do!**

 **Reba G (Guest): Yeah, it has scared me, but in a good way. Mormons, ya know...I believe every bit of it...and thank you!**

 **Crystallion12: yes, I try...**

* * *

 _'Cause I got friends..._

 **Time Period: AU, Main Character's Age 18**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: Horror, Parody**

 **Rating: T, for the scary Doctor...**

 **Summary: Prince Jorgenson and his servant, Fishlegs Ingerman, visit a voodoo man named Dr. Facilier, who wants Stoick the Vast dead. To obtain this goal, the Doctor transforms Prince Jorgenson into a frog and makes Fishlegs appear to be Prince Jorgenson.**

* * *

 **Dr. Facilier:** _Don't you disrespect me, little man!_

Fishlegs shrank back from the tall man.

 **Dr. Facilier:** _Don't you derogate or deride..._

He leaned closer and Fishlegs backed up into Snotlout, who shoved him and muttered, "Muttonhead." Dr. Facilier gestured with his staff and the sign over the door burst into flame, illuminating the skulls there.

 **Dr. Facilier:** _'Cause I got friends..on the other side._

 **Spirits:** _He's got friends on the other side..._

The Doctor began to usher them through the door.

 **Dr. Facilier:** That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little somethin' we have down here in Louisiana, little parlor trick, don't worry.

His shadow took off their helmets and tossed them in the corner with a clatter.

 **Dr. Facilier:** _Sit down at my table. Put your minds at ease._

He pushed them towards the table and gave his shadow a high-five.

 **Dr. Facilier:** _If you relax it will enable me to do, anything I please._

He slid closer to the table, dancing to the strange music that seemed to come from nowhere.

 **Dr. Facilier:** _I can read your future. I change it around, some, too. I look deep into your heart and soul-you do have a soul, don't you Fishlegs?-Make your wildest dreams come true._

He spun around, demonstrating his art.

 **Dr. Facilier:** _I got voodoo, I got hoodoo, I got stuff I ain't even tried! And I got friends on the other side._

 **Spirits:** _He's got friends on the other side..._

The Doctor sat down and began plying the cards. The lights flickered.

 **Dr. Facilier:** _The cards...the cards...the cards will tell...the past, the present, and the future as well. The cards...the cards...just take three. Take alittle trip into your future with me-e-e..._

Snotlout and Fishlegs each took three cards, Snotlout eagerly, Fishlegs warily.

 **Dr. Facilier (to Snotlout): Now, you young man, are from across the sea. You come from two long lines of royalty...**

He held up a shrunken head, and Fishlegs grimaced.

 **Dr. Facilier:** I'm a royal myself, on my mother's side...

 **Dr. Facilier:** **(To Snotlout):** _Your life-style's high...but your funds are low...you need to marry a little honey who's daddy got dough._ Mom and Dad cut you off, huh playboy? Now ya'll gotta get hitched, but hitchin' ties you down, you jus' wanna be free, hop from place to place... _It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need...and when I look into your future it's the green that I see._

He turned to Fishlegs with an uninterested expression.

 **Dr. Facilier (To Fishlegs):** _On you, little man, I don't wanna waste much time, you've been pushed around all your life. You've been pushed round by your mother, and your sister, and your brother...and if you was married...you'd be pushed round by your wife. But in your future, the you_ I _see...is exactly, the man you always wanted to be._

Fishlegs's eyes grew wide at the image on the card. Himself, standing tall and proud with the crown, while Snotlout toiled in the background.

 **Dr. Facilier:** C'mon, boys, shake my hand. Won't you shake, a poor ol' sinner's hand?

They shook. As soon as they did, the house began to shake. Whispers and ghosts and pounding drumbeats filled the room.

 **Dr. Facilier:** Yeeessss. _Are you ready?_

 **Spirits:** _Are you ready?_

 **Dr. Facilier:** _Transformation central!_

 **Spirits:** _Transformation central!_

He nipped at Snotlout's finger with a talisman, drawing blood as the boy was confined to his chair by twisting serpents.

 **Dr. Facilier:** _Reformation central!_

 **Spirits:** _Reformation central!_

 **Dr. Facilier:** _Transmogrification central!_

Snotlout was wreathed in green light, disappearing as he shrank. Fishlegs watched in horror.

 **Dr. Facilier:** _You're changin', you're changin', you're changin', all right, I hope you're satisfied. But if you ain't, don't blame me. You can blame my friends on the other side!_

The Doctor laughed madly as the spirits hissed and whispered and cackled.

 **Spirits:** _You got what you wanted! But you lost what you had!_

 **Spirits & Dr. Facilier: **Hush!

* * *

 **This One-Shot was based off of "Friends On The Other Side" by Keith David, from "The Princess And The Frog."**

* * *

 **A/N In case anyone wants to know, this will be one of the repeated AUs. I really like the idea of this, and so I'll be doing some other songs with Snotlout as Prince Naveen.**

 **I have Shakespeare today!**

 ***whispers***

 **I forgot my script.**

 ***whispers quieter***

 **Don't tell my director...**

 ***yells***

 **I'M A FREAKIN' QUEEN!**

 **...**

 **probably should cut down on the sugar...**

 **Love you all!**

 **XOXO**


	14. Thriller

**A/N Is it bad that I can literally imagine Hiccup, Astrid, Gobber, Stoick, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Fishlegs, Valka, Gustav, and Heather all saying, "He's gay," in succession, and then Snotlout yelling, "okay, fine! I'm gay! Is that what you wanted to hear!?"**

 **It probably is...**

 **Woohoo! First Halloween One-Shot!**

 **I only put it on here because it's a musical...sort of.**

 **I JUST HAD THE BEST SPANISH CLASS EVER!**

 **So, we were doing our flashcards, and I got paired with a girl who recognized EVERY DISNEY, DREAMWORKS, AND HTTYD REFERENCE!**

 **We dove for the "Debil" card at the same time, and we were all like, "I got it!" "No, I got it!" "I will die for him!" "No, I will!" (Talking about Hiccup...from the first movie) Then, RTTE Hiccup was on the "Guapo" card, and this girl who was sitting next to us was all like, "He's not guapo. He's a cartoon character." And we just glared at her like, "YOU TAKE THAT BACK..."**

 **ONLY READ THE REST OF THIS A/N IF YOU ARE A FANGIRL WHO HAS IT BAD FOR HICCUP!**

 **I found the cutest meme about Hiccup...so it's him during one of the scenes in RTTE when he's sad, and the caption read:**

 _ **Sometimes I find myself wondering what it would be like to hold Hiccup's hands. Or to look straight into his forest-green eyes. Or talk to him in person. Help him when he needs. Cheer him up? Or even just be around him! Astrid, you are so lucky, girl.**_

 **I FREAKED OUT. Who else has done that? 'Cause I have! Hiccup is so awesome! Sometimes I just want to reach through the screen and hit him for being silly, and sometimes i just want to roll my eyes at his antics and kiss him, and most of the time I want to jump through the screen and knock his and Astrid's heads together for not noticing how they feel about each other...freakin' Hiccstrid I love it so much!**

 **OKAY, CRAZY FANGIRL STUFF OVER!**

 **Review Replies:**

 **WolfDragon(Guest): Yes, yes yes yes yes yes! Such an awesome idea and I am doing it RIGHT NOW!**

 **Reba G(Guest): That is an excellent question! I really like the idea of Heathlout in AUs, so that is what I will be doing in my repeated musical AUs. :-)**

 **MAD Marty: As much as I love you, I must tell you something that will be hard for you to hear. That sounds like a drunk reciting Shakespeare from memory. I laughed so hard when I read it...thank you anyway! And I have been taking Shakespeare for five years so I know the language quite well. :-)**

* * *

 _To Seal Your Doom_

 **Time Period: Future AU. Main character's age 18.**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: Dance, slight Horror (because...Halloween)**

 **Rating: T, for ghosts...**

* * *

"Hiccup! Let's go!"

"Stop calling me that!" Hiccup scrambled around his room, looking for his costume ears.

"But it's your given name!" The call came from downstairs.

"I don't care!" He called back. "It's dumb."

"Hiccup...Hiccup Hiccup Hiccup!"

"Stoppit Astrid!" He found the black furry ears and clipped them into his brown hair, then scrambling down the stairs to where Astrid waited by the door.

"You just don't know when to stop, do you, milady?" He smirked.

"I really don't...Hiccup." Astrid smirked right back at him.

"Hickory..." he muttered, giving her a pouty look. She rolled her eyes.

"I really like your costume, Babe." She let her eyes run up and down his skintight costume, and he felt the blood rush to his cheeks. "It's...sexy."

"Suuurrre," Hiccup muttered. "Because cats are sooo sexy."

"It's a classic," Astrid scoffed. "Can I help it if black cats are cool?"

"Says the girl dressed as a mermaid."

Astrid smiled and turned in a circle once. "If you like it, then I'm good."

"But it's another classic..."

"So? Come on."

* * *

The dance was loud. For some reason, someone had decided to decorate with not only skeletons, skulls, spiders, and bats, but trolls as well. Some sort of connection to the Vikings that the town of Berk were descended from.

Everyone was there, Ruff, Tuff, Fishlegs (where that nickname had come from nobody knew), Gustav (really, who names their kid Gustav?) Snotlout (now, that was an interesting story), and everyone else. Mostly people just milled around by the edges of the room. There were a few people dancing, but everyone else was waiting for the big event.

Halloween, on Berk, was quite different from Halloween in other places. The ghosts of their ancestors (and their ancestor's pets) literally came back from the dead for that one night. Because they were the greatest of their age, they were the only ones allowed to do that. They got to see how science had advanced, they got to see how their families had grown...and of course, they got to dance. But the most interesting thing...was that their generation was the first to completely mirror that of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third. Hiccup the third and his generation always appeared as they had at age 18, even though they had died much later. And the dragons...now that was always a sight to behold.

Hiccup had never been to a town Halloween dance before, he'd always stayed at home and watched scary movies, and lately. Astrid had been joining him.

There was an almost palpable excitement in the air as the hour drew near. Everyone hushed as the great clock in the clock tower struck.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine.

The air began to shimmer in the Hall as the dead were called back into the world of the living.

Suddenly, in a wave of shadow, seven figures and six dragons appeared in the center of the dance floor.

Hiccup watched from the corner as people began to rush forward to greet them. They didn't look like they'd be free for a bit. So he wandered over to the table with food on it in search of punch. About five minutes later he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see...oh.

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Seventh." Hiccup the Third was standing there, with his Night Fury watching curiously.

"H-hey." Hiccup stuttered. Toothless came up and sniffed him, then rubbed his head against him.

"He wants you to pet him," Hiccup the Third said, chuckling. "Spoiled reptile."

Toothless grinned and crooned.

"I, um. I go by Hickory," Hiccup muttered, running his hand gently over the dragon's scales. Hiccup cocked his head.

"Hickory? Why?"

"Well," Hickory muttered, "Names nowadays aren't as...odd...as the names you guys had back when Viking were around.."

"Ah. Makes sense." Hiccup nodded. He regarded Hickory.

"You know, you're the only Hiccup who looks even a little bit like me," Hiccup said.

"Really?" Hickory shifted from foot to foot. He looked at Hiccup. Yes. He could see it. He saw that face every time he looked in the mirror. Their heights were identical. They could have been twins.

Suddenly, the first dance song of the night began, and Hiccup gestured to the dance floor.

"Shall we join them?" He asked, referring to everyone else, who had taken to the dance floor once the Dragon Riders had shown up.

 _It's close to midnight_

 _And something evil's lurking in the dark._

Hickory shrugged. "Sure."

 _Under the moonlight_

 _You see a sight that almost stops your heart._

 _You try to scream_

 _But terror takes the sound before you make it._

Hickory was impressed. The Dragon Riders seemed quite caught up with modern dancing...even Hiccup, with the metal leg, was doing quite well.

 _You start to freeze_

 _As horror looks you right between the eyes._

 _You're paralyzed!_

 _Cuz this is thriller!_

 _Thriller night_

 _And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike._

 _You know it's thriller!_

 _Thriller night_

 _You're fighting for your life inside a_

 _killer_

 _thriller_

 _tonight!_

Apparently Michael Jackson had been quite popular with Ruffnut and Tuffnut. They moonwalked through the whole song, bumping into people and laughing.

All too soon, the song was over.

Hiccup and Hickory spent most of the next three hours talking. Hickory caught up Hiccup on the major scientific advances of the year and stuff like that. Hiccup returned the favor by telling Hickory all he could remember about Viking times.

But soon enough, it was almost midnight. The dragon riders and their dragons went back to the middle of the dance floor, receiving and giving farewells.

Then, Hiccup, Astrid, Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Fishlegs, Heather, and their dragons all shimmered, and vanished with the clock striking midnight. Gone for another year.

* * *

"So, Babe, how was it?" Astrid asked him.

"Eh, fine."

She tugged off his cat ears and pulled him a bit closer against her. He adjusted the volume on the old horror movie and hummed in contentment.

He couldn't wait for next Halloween.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was requested by WolfDragon(Guest) and inspired by "Thriller" by Michael Jackson.**

* * *

 **A/N Hey, guys! Cute at the end, huh?**

 **I might put up another one-shot this afternoon...maybe. Remember when I said that thing about the Dragon Riders of Berk and zumba?**

 **...Yeah, that's where we're going.**

 **Love you all!**

 **XOXO**


	15. Gasolina

**A/N So. Hi. Sorry about not updating this weekend, I've had a really hard time lately. My friends decided to give me sugar on Friday night. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad idea...I'm allergic to sugar and it has the kind of effect on me a drug might, I go a little crazy. I wouldn't stop talking in a British accent, I couldn't stop laughing, and I was throwing things at people. Harmless things, but it was embarrassing.**

 **Also, my depression has just been getting stronger and stronger...**

 **But at school, I've started finding people who will talk to me. :-) So, first thing, before classes, there's a boy who I've known for a while, we were in the Aladdin musical, and we just wander around the school and talk before classes. Then there's a girl in my Spanish class, she is AWESOME, she and I are both crazy Disney and Dreamworks fans, PLUS SHE LOVES HTTYD! She tells me that last Halloween she dressed as Hiccup, but she deleted all the pictures, which is sad, it would be funny to see a girl dress as Hiccup...hahahaha nosotros somos loca, and we love it. Then last Wednesday, there was a boy on the bus who talked to me, and I greatly appreciated that, I was having an AWFUL day and he made it better by making me feel noticed. He had a really cool name, but I'm not telling you what it was because I've only talked to him the once and I don't think he'd appreciate me giving out his name over the internet.**

 **(FROM FRIDAY, WHEN I STARTED WRITING THIS)**

 **I think that the world except for me is completely perverted. It's annoying. I've been sitting here at my alternative education place trying to mind my own business, and everyone has been getting into strange discussions about sex.**

 **It's disturbing me.**

 **So, the idea for this one-shot came because my Spanish teacher makes us dance zumba, and a common one is "Gasolina" on YouTube by zumba with Shelli. So, today, I was just thinking a lot about the Riders of Berk, you know, and I had this thought. So I leaned over to my friend and whispered, "I feel the sudden need to force the dragon riders of Berk to dance to this." We both collapsed in really loud laughter on the spot at the image of that...**

 **So, that's where this came from.**

* * *

 _Gasolina_

 **Time Period: Canon, between Defenders of Berk and Race To The Edge**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid (implied)**

 **Genre: Humor, Dance**

 **Rating: K+, for...you know. Zumba.**

 **Summary: Hiccup and the gang are having a lesson at the Academy, and suddenly a strange box and a mysterious voice come from nowhere and make them dance.**

* * *

"But we're busy, Hiccup!"

"Ruffnut. Tuffnut."

"Okay, fine!" Ruff and Tuff dropped the hammers and came over to where Hiccup was standing at the board.

"You know what you're supposed to do, right?" He asked them sternly.

"YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DANCE!" Came a really loud echoing shout from nowhere.

Everyone jumped.

"What?" Snotlout asked.

"You are supposed to dance." The voice said, quieter this time. It was a girl's voice, and as she spoke, the gates to the Academy slammed shut, and the cage of chains dropped down.

Astrid freaked.

"Who are you?! WHERE are you?! WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL US WHAT TO DO!?"

"Relax, Astrid," Hiccup tried to tell her.

"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO RELAX WHEN WE ARE TRAPPED IN THE ACADEMY, HICCUP!"

"Oh, you're not trapped." The girl said. "You can leave. Just as soon as you dance."

"Dance? But there's no music!" Ruffnut complained.

"Here."

A strange flat box appeared on the ground.

"It's called a television. It's pretty big, so you can all see it. There will be a lady on the screen. You must do as she does. When you are finished, you may leave."

"Why do we have to do it?" Hiccup frowned at the box.

"Um...because of Fan Fiction. And also because I'm crazy. TEN SECOND COUNTDOWN!"

Toothless and the other dragons watched interestedly as their humans got into a line in front of the "television."

"Ten...nine...eight..."

"Hiccup, this is crazy," Astrid hissed.

"Yeah, I know," Hiccup muttered.

"Seven...six...five..."

"Heh heh heh..I will defeat you all!" Tuff shouted.

Hiccup sighed. "It's not a comp-"

"Don't even say it, Hiccup," Ruffnut told him.

"Four...three...two...one!"

The screen turned on, the music began, and six dragon riders stared in confusion.

"Dance!" The girl yelled.

"Okay, fine!" Snotlout and the twins started dancing, with Fishlegs clumsily following, and Astrid just stared in bewilderment for another second before shrugging and beginning.

Hiccup didn't dance.

"Hiccup, you must dance." The girl reminded him.

He gestured to his metal leg.

"JUST DO IT!"

"Okay, okay.." he muttered.

He began dancing.

About halfway through the song, Snotlout winked at Astrid and said, "Hey, you like how I move?"

"Shut up, Snotlout, or I swear to Thor I will break your wrist."

"Okay, fine..."

A second or two later, the metal leg tripped Hiccup up, and he fell flat on his back.

"Hahahahahahaha nice, Useless," Snotlout commented.

"DO NOT CALL HIM USELESS, SNOTFACE, OR I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS THAT I WILL FIND A DRAGON THAT WILL EAT YOU!"

"Okay, fine!" Snotlout yelled back at the girl.

Hiccup stared up at the sky and muttered to himself.

"Why on earth did I agree to this...this was stupid...well at least no one else will see it..."

Toothless came over and warbled and Hiccup in concern. He rubbed the dragon's nose.

"No, I'm fine, Toothless, just surrounded by crazy people..."

"We heard that!"

"Oh, Thor..."

He sat up and sighed as the last few notes of the song faded away and the screen turned off.

"Okay, you can go now!" The girl said happily. The gates opened. The cage lifted up.

"Just what was the purpose of all that?" Astrid inquired.

"Yeah! It was fun, but why'd you make us do it?" Tuffnut agreed, rubbing his elbow. Ruffnut was rubbing her nose and didn't say anything.

"Well," the girl said cheerfully, "I recorded it all and I'm putting it on my Fan Fiction account where lots of people will see it."

"WHAT!?" Hiccup looked in horror at the screen.

"Hahahaha yeah, I heard that, Hiccup. Too bad it wasn't true."

Hiccup stared from the screen to his friends and back again.

"Well, adios guys, I've got homework to do and a late chapter about a syren to write. You guys are awesome and it was the best thing ever to see you!"

The "television" vanished, and the girl was gone, they could tell.

"Sooo...now what?" Astrid asked.

Hiccup groaned and flopped back on the ground. "Now we take over the world," he said sarcastically.

"Really!?" Tuffnut perked up and ran to fetch his hammer.

"YEAH!" Ruffnut yelled, running to get hers.

"No, you guys, I didn't mean...oh, Thor."

Hiccup rubbed his forehead. This was going to be a problem. And he was rapidly developing a headache.

Hiccup muttered a very rude word.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the "Gasolina" video on YouTube by shelliphillips.**

* * *

 **A/N Hey guys! Hope you liked it...shoutout to Kai, I hope this makes you laugh at least as much as it did on Friday!**

 **And to the rest of you guys...**

 **How was my last chapter? I know it was a bit unconventional, but hey, I have just discovered that Michael Jackson is awesome and I really did want to do that..so I did.**

 **So yeah, sorry about the next chapter of Viking's Syren being late, I will do my best to get that finished today.**

 **HALLOWEEN IS COMING! I SHOULD BE DOING HOMEWORK BUT I'M DOING THIS INSTEAD! BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS!  
XOXO**


	16. Rain

**A/N Hello, lovely readers.**

 **I have a sneaking suspicion my depression is getting worse. Like, a lot worse. In case you were wondering, my A/N from chapter four is still in force.**

 **I've been having a lot of fun REALLY scaring my boyfriend. :-) I'm going to tell him something on Halloween that will either make him laugh at me or make him completely at my mercy. I won't tell you what it is, because he's most likely going to read this, but muahahahahahahaha I feel so evil. :-)**

 **So, update plans. This week I'm going to finish "Those Who Stay Behind (In The Land Of The Living)", and then I'm going to be writing a story for Transcendence14. She can't write anymore, and so she wanted me to write the story. She started it, but I have the full plot, and my version will be different then how she was writing it. I'll be starting part one, called "The Book Of Black Memories: Middle Earth". It was originally a crossover between HTTYD and LOTR, but there was just too much backstory for that, so I'm changing it up a little.**

 **My school has Friday off! And I made a promise to my friend, who is playing Captain Von Trapp in "The Sound Of Music," he made me promise I'd watch the original screening on Friday. So...I guess I know what I'm doing!**

 **Review Replies:**

 **Pikachu2chu: Wow, thanks, I will. That's just such a funny image, though...**

 **Guest: Thank you!**

 **MAD Marty: Forsooth, in that I have wronged you, it does do us both well for one such as I to offer an apology, though paltry it may seem. Indeed, those who heareth this poor fool speak in the language of Shakespeare doth indeed offer such glances as to suggest an inflammation of the brain. I should indeed also offer unto you a sincere thanks for the review of mine story. :-)**

 **Reba G (Guest): Yeah, she's awesome. And as for Halloween...I'm going trick-or-treating as Puss In Boots, but all day at school I'm going to be a Spriggan lady from the Fairyland books. Spriggans, creatures with wooden skin up to the elbows, three fingers, and they always wear masks. They are Physickists of Magic and Questing, and they live in the Autumn Parish, which means that every day there is Halloween. :-)**

* * *

 _Rain_

 **Time Period: Canon, Pre-HTTYD**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: Friendship**

 **Rating: K, for cuteness. :-)**

 **Summary: Every adult on Berk _hates_ the rain. But their children love it. The teens in good relationships as young children.**

* * *

"It's raining!" Ruffnut and Tuffnut ran in circles outside, chasing each other and slipping on the slick stone.

Snotlout laughed and followed them, running down the steps from the Great Hall. "Hiccup, Astwid, c'mon!" He was the only one of them that still talked like that, and most of them were five.

"Wait for me!" Fishlegs followed them out the door. They spent the afternoon in the rain, drinking it, having contests to see who could slip the most on the stairs, and generally getting soaked. Ruff and Tuff ended up wrestling in a mud puddle, and Snotlout had ended up taking his shirt off and tying them together with it.

Hiccup and Astrid had played tag, until Hiccup tripped and scraped his leg. Then they sat and watched Fishlegs try to build a house of little sticks, and Snotlout coming and kicking it. Ruff and Tuff cackled.

Finally, Fishlegs's mother called them all into the Great Hall for supper. She bundled them all up in blankets and sat them by the fire with stew while they dried off. They laughed and ate and adults passed by with fond smiles. Many asked how the children could stand being so wet and cold all day.

The children didn't care.

They kept talking, and smiling, and being the children they were, while they still could be.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "Rain" by Hans Zimmer from the movie "SPIRIT: Stallion Of The Cimarron."**

* * *

 **Wow, sorry about it being short, I have a lot of homework and I need to do it by tomorrow.**

 **Love you guys!**

 **XOXO**


	17. How Bad Can I Be?

**A/N Hello, lovely readers!**

 **I have developed a guilty pleasure. I started listening to Ke$ha music, and I LOVE it. I'd be in SSOOOOO much trouble if my mom found out...**

 **Sorry about the absence, as much as I love writing these, I've been very very depressed lately and am just not really motivated. All except Hiccstrid...I have soooo many songs for them. I keep planning them out in my head and then don't actually write them out, so yeah.**

 **I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I am not taking requests anymore until I've finished with all the ones I already have. I will let you know, so I don't want any asking when, okay?**

 **Thank you!**

 **So this week I told my mom I wasn't taking the PSAT. She got mad. According to her, I'll be a high school sophomore forever and work at the grocery store if I didn't practice for the real thing.**

 **Made me so ticked off.**

 **But anyway, this is a one-shot I've wanted to write for quite some time. Again, as I have suggested, you might want to look up these songs on YouTube or whatever you use for music.**

 **Review Replies:**

 **MAD Marty: Hahaha I'm glad you liked it**

 **Reba G (Guest): Yeah, the Autumn Parish is awesome. :-) And sorry this isn't another Spirit song, but I am totally in love with that music and definitely have lots more. :-)**

 **Crystallion12: I will certainly try to do that song. You got me right before I closed requests. Good for you!**

 **SweetWritingIsMyLife: (chap. 6) Aww, thanks! (chap. 1) yeah, it was sweet. :-)**

* * *

 _How Bad Can I Be?_

 **Time Period: Canon, Pre-HTTYD through RTTE**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: Parody, Crime, Angst maybe?**

 **Rating: T, for reference to death and abuse**

* * *

Viggo cursed his mother as he wandered through the woods on the island.

She had hit him again. All he had said was that he didn't _want_ to hurt that girl who owed her. Viggo's mother was a witch, and many a girl had come to her for solutions to their _small_ _problems_. She pretended like they came to have their fortunes read, but Viggo was a smart child. He knew what they really wanted. Witches did have skills to end pregnancies for a reason.

Viggo's mother was too smart for her own good, and often tricked them into agreeing to prices that they couldn't pay. She had trained her sons to fight well, so that she could take her "revenge" on the girls who couldn't pay. She was twisted and crazy and Viggo and Ryker hated her.

It was autumn again. Viggo's fifteenth year was approaching.

He was pulled out of his ruminating by a whimper and a clatter. He turned to see the very girl his mother wanted him to punish. She had dropped her basket and was staring at him in horror.

"Please, I'm sorry, I'll pay, I'll find the money, please!"

Viggo didn't know her name. He really didn't care. He just knew he wouldn't support his mother's insanity anymore. He made a snap decision without thinking about the consequences.

"Go. Get out of here. I'll talk to her."

She gazed at him with disbelief.

He rolled his eyes.

"Didn't you hear me? Go!"

She snatched up her basket and ran, scrambling over the dry leaves on the ground.

Viggo turned back towards home. He didn't know what he'd say to his mother.

* * *

"You stupid fool! How could you! SHE OWED US!"

Viggo was sprawled on the ground, his mother's nail marks against his face. He was silent as she raged, Ryker watching in concern from the corner.

"You horrible child! When I tell you to do something, YOU DO IT!"

She raged across the room and pulled one of her potions from the shelf. Viggo winced. He recognized that one.

"Maybe I should give you some of this? Maybe you'd remember what you're supposed to do next time? Maybe when you writhe in agony you'll have my name on your lips, instead of Keyla's!"

Viggo spit out a gob of blood. "Who's Keyla?"

"Who's Keyla? WHO'S KEYLA?! Just the girl you just let get away without justice! SHE OWED US!"

Viggo was suddenly angry. He stood up and glared at his mother.

"No. She owed you."

"What!?"

"We want no part in this. Ryker and I. We're done. Right, brother?"

Ryker came and stood by Viggo, silently supporting him and glaring at their mother.

"I can't believe this. My own sons are turning against me. What did I ever do to you!?"

Viggo and Ryker laughed derisively at the same time.

"If you don't know, mother, than it would be a waste of our time to tell you."

They turned and made for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Away." Ryker grunted.

"You can't leave me. I am your mother!"

"Maybe you were once," Viggo called over his shoulder. "But now you are not. Good day, Madam Excellinor."

Viggo and Ryker left the house to the witch's angry spluttering.

* * *

"That's wonderful, Viggo. Now what do we do with it?"

Viggo and Ryker stood in the forest, about six months after they left the witch, about five or six islands away from her, staring down at a Nadder's corpse. Viggo had taken it down as it invaded their camp.

"I'm not sure." He walked around it and prodded it with his sword. "Maybe we could skin it?"

"Oh, sure, and what? Use it as a blanket?"

"We could eat it."

"Of all the-" Ryker stopped. "You know...that's actually a good idea."

"What? I'm hungry. And not all my ideas are stupid, you know."

"Just most of them," Ryker muttered under his breath. Viggo pointed the sword at him and waved it around.

"I'm not an idiot, you know."

"Never said you were." Ryker poked at the dragon too. "But yeah. What else could we do with it? There's not really much value in a dragon. Is there?"

He glanced at Viggo, who had an odd expression on his face.

"Is there?" Ryker repeated.

"Maybe not to us." Viggo said. "But I bet there are plenty of rich fools in the city down south who would do a lot for, say, a spoon carved from dragon bone. Or a knife made of Nadder spines. Or maybe even a Nightmare's pelt, you know what I'm saying?"

Ryker felt a grin spread across his face.

"Viggo, I take back everything I ever said about your plans being stupid."

Viggo winked and thrust his sword in the air like a conqueror.

"Here's to us, the Grimborn brothers!"

* * *

Business was booming.

Viggo and Ryker had made enough on the Nadder to hire a man to help them, plus some extra weapons. Add to that the money from the Nightmare flock, the Gronckle nest, and the Zippleback, and they were well on their way to wealth.

Soon they had enough to build a ship. And what a ship it was! Crew came easily too.

Now they could sail farther, carry more, sell farther away.

Viggo had had an odd conversation with a fortune teller the other day. She had grabbed his wrist in the marketplace and given him a warning.

"Careful who you choose to punish. Be a good man. Do not go bad."

Bad. Who was bad? Viggo wasn't. He was simply a businessman.

Yet her warning came back to him weeks later, when one of the crew had tried to steal from Viggo and Ryker. Viggo had had him dismissed. The man had insisted he was trying to feed his family. Viggo had paused at that, but let him go anyway.

Then the warning had come back to him. He shrugged it off, but a feeling of unease lingered.

* * *

 **BEGIN MONTAGE**

* * *

 **How bad can I be?**

 **I'm just doing what comes naturally.**

 **How bad can I be?**

 **How bad can I possibly be?**

Viggo and Ryker were making out like bandits. Soon enough Viggo began staying behind at base while Ryker went out with their Hunters.

 **Well, there's a principle of nature (principle of nature)**

 **That almost every creature knows.**

 **It's called survival of the fittest (survival of the fittest)**

 **And check it, this is how it goes.**

Rival sellers were mysteriously closing down. Something about losing employees.

 **The animal that wins gotta scratch and fight**

 **And claw and bite and punch**

 **And the animal that doesn't, well the animal that doesn't**

 **Winds up someone else's**

 **A-lu-lu-lu-lu-lunch**

 **(munch munch munch munch munch)**

 **I'm just sayin'!**

Dragons dropped in great numbers, but hey. They were just animals, right? And it didn't matter if you ate an animal.

 **How bad can I be?**

 **I'm just followin' my destiny.**

 **How bad can I be?**

 **How bad can I possibly be?**

Viggo's punishments grew more and more cruel. He only spared someone if he was trying to make a clear point. The point that he could punish them, but he wasn't. Because he could do that.

 **Well, there's a principle in business (principle in business)**

 **That everybody knows is sound.**

 **It says the people with the money (people with the money!)**

 **Make this ever-lovin' world go 'round.**

Viggo was becoming the one in charge. Ryker no longer controlled anything except the men under his control. When he tried to confront Viggo about it, Viggo had threatened him.

 **So I'm biggerin' my company,**

 **I'm biggerin' my weaponry**

 **I'm biggerin' my fleet and my time!**

 **Everybody out there take care of yours**

 **And me? I'll take care of**

 **Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine**

 **(Shake that bottom line)**

The Dragon Hunters were now an army, an armada, an empire of goods and riches and death, with Viggo at the top. He was not greedy, he paid the men under his jurisdiction fairly, but he was extremely possessive and cruel, should he be crossed.

 **Let me hear you say a thousand men! (a thousand men)**

 **A thousand stops! (a thousand stops)**

 **Complain all you want**

 **It's never ever ever ever gonna stop.**

Those pesky dragon riders. Trying to undermine Viggo's rule and end his income. They would have to be silenced. But their little complaints did not faze the Dragon Hunter.

 **Come on, how bad could it possibly be?**

 **How bad can I be?**

 **I'm just building the economy**

 **How bad can I be?**

 **Just look at me counting this money**

 **How bad can I be?**

 **A portion of proceeds goes to charity**

 **How bad can I be?**

 **Let's see**

Viggo faked quite a lot of "charitable donations" to orphan houses and temples of goddesses like Diana.

 **All the customers are buying**

 **And the money's multipliying**

 **The PR people are lying**

 **And the con men are denying**

 **Who cares if a few dragons are dying?**

 **This is all to gratifying!**

 **How bad?**

 **How bad could this possibly be?!**

* * *

 **END MONTAGE**

* * *

A hand reached over Viggo's shoulder and put a piece on the Maces And Talons board.

"I think you're missing a piece." Hiccup deadpanned.

Viggo smirked.

"You came. I'm surprised."

"No, you're not." Hiccup retorted, walking around the board.

"Otherwise you wouldn't be sitting in a field of flowers that are poisonous to dragons."

Viggo smiled. This was all too easy.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "How Bad Can I Be?" by Ed Helms, from The Lorax.**

* * *

 **A/N So...just playing off of ideas, I kinda thought that since Excellinor doesn't actually seem the type to be Alvin's mother in the Dreamworks version of events, she's certainly smart, quick, and wicked enough to have raised Viggo.**


	18. I Think You Look Like Captain Crunch

**A/N Hello, lovely readers!**

 **I just spent a delightful (NOT) first period in the nurse's office with a panic attack. What was the cause? I have no idea whatsoever. I think it started because I was having trouble breathing because it was cold outside. (Don't ask. I'm weird.)**

 **There have just been so many fights and stuff at my house lately. The other night my brother and his friend were throwing things at me. THEY WOULDN'T STOP. It drove me INSANE. It started because one of them kicked me in the ankle. So I chased him up the stairs and swatted him. Then I shut them both in the bedroom they were supposed to be cleaning. So instead of cleaning, they tried to open the door. And failed. So when I lost interest in the whole shebang, they started throwing things at me and wouldn't stop until the friend threw a sock at me in front of his mother and she stopped him. Ha ha I win.**

 **Anyway...**

 **Review Replies:**

 **Martyn (Guest): Thank you! And requests are closed, but I've already received a request for that song. So I'll be doing it eventually. :-)**

 **Pikachu2chu: Thanks! And can I quote you on that? :-)**

 **MAD Marty: OMT OMT OMT YES. I Feel so flattered. :-)**

* * *

 _You Look Like Captain Crunch_

 **Time Period: AU, Main Character's Age 16 (Modern)**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid (Implied)**

 **Genre: Humor, Friendship**

 **Rating: K+, for cute fluff**

 **Summary: Hiccup and the gang sing a "silly song" that they all remember from when they were kids and collapse into uproarious laughter right as Stoick and Gobber walk through the door.**

* * *

"No, no, no, give that back!"

Ruffnut and Tuffnut wrestled over the TV remote as the others tried to drown them out and watch the show. Finally they got too loud, and Hiccup sighed and, with a glance to the other's to verify that it was okay, he turned off the TV.

"Hey!"

"What was that for?"

Ruff and Tuff stopped fighting immediately and glared at Hiccup. He stared right back.

"You were being loud." He pointed out.

"So?" Tuff asked.

"So...we couldn't hear the TV!" Snotlout told them irritably.

"Okay, let's just do something else." Astrid intervened.

"Okay. What?" Ruffnut asked.

"Huh. I don't know. Hiccup?"

Hiccup shrugged.

"I don't know. My dad will be back soon. Maybe we could take Toothless and go to the park?"

"Why would you take a cat to the park?" Snotlout gave Hiccup a look.

"He likes it," Hiccup defended.

"I will not be seen with a cat in the park." Snotlout said firmly. "What do I look like?"

Fishlegs looked up.

"I think _you_ look like Captain Crunch."

"What?" Snotlout gaped at Fishlegs for a moment.

Hiccup smirked. Astrid laughed. The twins chortled.

"Oh, I know what he meant." Hiccup said. He sat back in the armchair (it practically swallowed him, he was still quite skinny), and began singing.

 **Hiccup:** _We are the pirates, who don't do anything, we just stay at home, and lie around. And if you ask us, to do anything, we'll just tell you._

He grinned at Astrid, who rolled her eyes, but finished the phrase.

 **Astrid:** _We don't do anything._

Ruffnut and Tuffnut grinned identical evil smiles and glanced at Snotlout, who had an incredulous expression on his face.

Fishlegs looked expectantly at him. Snotlout realized what he wanted. He scoffed, but then realized that everyone was looking at him expectantly. Even Toothless had crawled out from under the couch and was giving him the look. He rolled his eyes and reluctantly sang.

 **Snotlout:** _Well, I've never been to Greenland and I've never been to Denver_

Fishlegs interrupted him.

 **Fishlegs:** _And I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul_

 **Hiccup:** _And I've never been to Moscow, and I've never been to Tampa_

 **All:** _And I've never been to Boston in the fall._

They all had wide grins now and were fighting back laughter as they sang the chorus.

 **All:** _We are the pirates, who don't do anything._

 _We just stay at home, and lay around._

 _and if you ask us, to do anything,_

 _We'll just tell you, we don't do anything._

Ruffnut and Tuffnut took on the second verse as the others watched, snickering.

 **Tuffnut:** _And I've never hoist a main sail_

 **Ruffnut:** _And I've never swabbed the poop deck_

 **Tuffnut:** _And I've never veered to starboard_

 **Both:** _'Cause I've never sailed at all_

 **Ruffnut:** _And I've never walked the gang plank_

Tuffnut scooped up Toothless and paraded him around the living room as he sang the next phrase, ignoring the cat's struggling.

 **Tuffnut:** _And I've never owned a parrot_

Hiccup took Toothless from Tuff and held him as he sang the end of the verse.

 **Hiccup:** _And I've never been to Boston in the fall!_

Toothless now calmed, they all sang the chorus, then looked to Snotlout and Fishlegs for the next verse.

 **All:** _We are the pirates, who don't do anything,_

 _We just stay at home, and lay around,_

 _And if you ask us, do to anything,_

 _We'll just tell you, we don't do anything!_

They were all fighting back laughter as the next verse began.

 **Snotlout:** _Well I've never plucked a rooster,_

 _And I'm not too good at ping-pong,_

 _And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes_

 _Up against the wall_

 **Fishlegs:** _And I've never kissed a chipmunk,_

 _And I've never gotten head lice,_

 _And I've never been to Boston in the fall._

 **Astrid:** Huh? What are you talking about? What does a rooster or mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?

 **Hiccup:** Yeah, she's right. We're supposed to be singing about pirate-y things.

 **Tuffnut:** And who's ever kissed a chipmunk?

 **Ruffnut:** That's just nonsense!

 **Astrid:** Am I right? What do you think?

Hiccup smirked at her and answered cockily.

 **Hiccup:** I think _you_ look like Captain Crunch.

 **Astrid:** What? No, I don't.

 **Hiccup:** Do too

 **Astrid:** Do not

 **Hiccup:** You're making me hungry

 **Astrid:** That's it, you're walkin' the plank.

 **Hiccup:** Says who?

 **Astrid:** Says the captain, that's who.

 **Hiccup:** Oh yeah? Aye, aye, Cap'n Crunch. Heh heh heh.

 **Astrid:** Aaargh!

 **Hiccup:** Yikes!

Astrid chased Hiccup out of his chair and around the room, both of them laughing like maniacs. Snotlout rolled his eyes, but Fishlegs and the twins were laughing heartily at the sight. Toothless regarded them with a look that clearly said, _really?_

 **Tuffnut:** _And I've never licked a spark plug_

 **Ruffnut:** _And I've never sniffed a stink bug_

 **Tuffnut:** _And I've never painted daisies_

 **Both:** _On a big red rubber ball_

 **Ruffnut:** _And I've never bathed in yogurt_

 **Tuffnut:** _And I don't look good in leggings..._

Hiccup and Astrid were back, and Hiccup gave Tuffnut a mock derisive stare and a shake of his head.

 **Hiccup:** You just don't get it.

He flopped back into the armchair and Astrid joined him as they all sang the end of the song.

 **All:** _And we've never been to Boston in the fall!_

They couldn't hold back the laughter anymore and collapsed in it, laughing so hard that they all cried, tears streaming down their faces. Which only made them laugh harder.

"Erm...what...are you all okay?"

They turned to see Stoick and Gobber standing in the doorway, giving them all a funny look.

Hiccup gasped for breath and tried to push Astrid, who was half lying on top of him, away.

"We're fine, dad...hahahaha...just singing a silly song...hahahaha..."

He went off again at the look on his father's face.

"Um...okay. We'll be..um..in the kitchen if you need anything."

"haha..oh..okay.."

Stoick and Gobber made their escape, and the teenagers finally calmed down.

"You know, Ruff and I have done all of those things." Tuff remarked, yanking at his braids, which had tangled up while he and his sister were rolling on the floor.

"Which ones?" Astrid asked, draped over the arm of Hiccup's chair.

"The icky ones. Like bathing in yogurt."

"You did WHAT?" Fishlegs gave them a horrified look.

"Yeah. I got grounded. I actually did it. Tuff just licked the spark plug, kissed the chipmunk...did some other things." Ruffnut scowled at her brother. "He would have done it too, except it was a dare."

Hiccup face-palmed.

"I don't even want to know."

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" by VeggieTales.**

* * *

 **A/N Hahaha I laughed so hard while I was writing this...**

 **I actually wrote a parody of it once for "The Hobbit," and it was a little silly, but now that I remember it I might put it up on here...oh well. Another time.**

 **Love you guys!**

 **XOXO**


	19. When We're Human

**A/N Hello, lovely readers!**

 **How were your weekends?**

 **I have gone Goth. I mean, I always wanted to look like one, because I am one, I just never got around to it. But on Saturday, I just went out and got a bunch of stuff. So my mom saw me dressed all in black with silver jewelry and dark purple lipstick and all that, and she said she did not support or approve of it. Grr. Screw her opinion. I can dress however I want. But one of the guys at the alternative education place I go to said that my boyfriend would say "hot damn" when he saw me. I really like being Goth.**

 **Review Replies:**

 **Reba G (Guest): Thanks! Wonderful memories, indeed...when i was a kid, my parents would only let us watch VeggieTales on Sundays. I got too much of that..**

 **midnightsky0612: (chap. 12) Yes, very intense.**

* * *

 _When We're Human_

 **Time Period: AU, Main character's age 18**

 **Ship(s): Heathlout**

 **Genre: Humor, Parody**

 **Rating: K+, for the crocodile...**

 **Summary: Snotlout, Heather, and Louis sing about what they're going to do when they're human.**

* * *

Louis rolled his eyes. He rolled back and began to blow on his trumpet, beginning a song.

 **Louis:** _If I were human being, I'd head straight for New Orleans._

Snotlout and Heather ended up on the crocodile's prodigious stomach as he sang.

 **Louis:** _And I'd blow this horn so hot and strong like no one they'd ever seen._

He jumped up on shore and pulled some moss off a tree, using it as a prop.

 **Louis:** _You heard of Louis Armstrong, Mister Sidney Bechet? All those boys gonna step aside when they hear this old ex-gator play, listen!_

He played a solo on his trumpet, dancing round the bayou as Snotlout and Heather followed him. Snotlout had found what passed for a guitar and was playing along.

 **Louis:** _When I'm human, as I hope to be, I'm gonna blow this horn till the cows come home, and everyone's gonna bow down ta me..._

 **Louis:** Mm, thank you, ooh, I love you too, baby!

Snotlout took up the song, strumming on his guitar while Louis played his trumpet and Heather rolled her eyes at their antics.

 **Snotlout:** _When I'm myself again, I want just the life I had._

 _A great big party, every night!_

 _That doesn't sound too bad._

Heather scoffed at him as he leaned close. He leaned away again as he was joined by butterflies in different colors.

 **Snotlout:** _A redhead on my left arm, a brunette on my right,_

 _A blonde or two to hold the candles, and that sounds just about right,_

 _Hey, Louis?!_

 _Life is short,_ _when you're done, you're done, we're on this earth to have some fun,_

 _And that's the way things are._

 **Louis:** Tell it, brother!

Heather had gotten knocked off Louis's back and scrambled to keep up.

 **Snotlout:** _When I'm human, and I'm gonna be,_

 _I'm gonna tear it up, like I did before,_

 _And that's a royal guarantee._

Heather waved away the butterflies.

" _You_ are gettin' _married_!" She told Snotlout forcefully.

"Oh, right." He sighed. Then he brightened. "I'll just have to leave a string of broken hearts behind me!"

Heather snatched away his guitar and handed him an oar.

 **Heather:** _Your modesty becomes you, and your sense of responsibility._

 _I worked HARD for everything I've got, and that's the way it's supposed to be._

Instead of rowing, Snotlout had broken his stick in half and was using it to drum on Louis's back. Heather frowned at him.

 **Heather:** _When I'M a human being, at least I'll act like one. If you do your best each and every day, good things are sure to come your way._

She steered them through a maze of branches as she sang.

 **Heather:** _What you give is what you get, my daddy said that and I'll never forget, and I recommend it to you._

 **All:** _When we're human, and we're gonna be!_

 **Louis:** _I'm gonna blow my horn!_

He gave a short demo.

 **Snotlout:** _I'm gonna live the high life!_

He jumped from Louis's tail to his back, strumming his guitar.

 **Heather:** _I'm gonna do my best to take my place in the sun..._

 **All:** _When we're human!_

They flew out of the dead tree and came to rest with a huge splash.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by "When We're Human" by Michael Leon-Wooley, Bruno Campos and Anika Noni Rose, Feat Terence Blanchard, from The Princess And The Frog.**

* * *

 **A/N Hey guys, how are you?**

 **I'm great...sort of. I mean I'm not utterly devastated, which is good, I suppose.**

 **Hahaha I'm weird.**

 **Love you!**

 **XOXO**


	20. I'm Waking Up

**A/N Hello, lovely readers!**

 **So today I have this offering for you, judge it not too harshly and I will update again soon!**

 **THIS IS RATED M. This is for Halloween, so pretend like I put it up on the actual Halloween because I won't have time to do so on Monday.**

 **I've been listening to "Bleeding Out" by Imagine Dragons a lot lately. It's a great song instumentally, but the lyrics are giving me a lot of interesting thoughts. Nothing I don't already think about, but when can you honestly say you're suicidal if you've promised to never do it?**

 **I had plans to do a RTTE Hiccstrid one-shot, but I'm to lazy to do an actual scene as opposed to a parody, so here this is!**

 **Review Replies:**

 **silverwolf (Guest): In case you haven't read my announcement, requests are closed for now. Thank you anyway for the idea!**

 **MAD Marty: I already did "Friends On The Other Side," that would be chapter 13. And thank you!**

 **Pikachu2chu: Thanks, and yes, it does seem that way. :-)**

 **WyldClaw: Wow, so many reviews from you! Thanks! (chap. 1) I'm so glad you think so! (chap. 4) Wow, yeah, it gives me the feels every time I re-read it. (chap. 5) I'm glad I can make people happy. :-) (chap. 14) Well, it is Halloween...thanks!**

* * *

 _I'm Waking Up_

 **Time Period: AU, main character's age 20**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid (past)**

 **Genre: Horror**

 **Rating: M, for violence, blood, terror, and intended rape**

 **Summary: Hiccup vanishes for a few months, and when he returns, he is not the Hiccup that they all knew. Oh, no, _this_ Hiccup is ruthless and cold and bloodthirsty and immoral and wickedly clever. In fact, some people doubt he is even human anymore. And this is confirmed when this "new Hiccup" goes on a killing spree...**

 **Warnings for: Dark!Hiccup, explicit torture, reference to self-harm, and extensive death and murder.**

* * *

Hiccup didn't know what they were. He only knew that they liked to hurt him. They weren't human, that was for sure. No human had teeth like that, or spoke in a voice that sounded like it was straight from Helheim.

He knew very well what their teeth felt like. And their claws. And their whips and knives and words. Words hurt, certainly, but theirs actually drew blood.

He tried not to scream as the creature standing above him pressed the white-hot blade against his skin again and again, burning the pointed imprint into his flesh. He twisted to the side, his hips and shoulders going in different directions as he tried to escape the pain. It didn't work and his head jerked back, slamming into the stone over and over as he tried to drown out the pain screaming in his head.

The chains restraining him cut his wrists as he slumped against the ground when the knife was removed. He lay there, panting. He'd learned early on not to speak. The rough stone scraped the open wounds over his side and he moaned.

The knife stabbed.

He screamed. He screamed as the blade twisted and jerked, blood steaming against the hot steel. His broken bones moved and he screamed louder as the knife withdrew.

"You will do this. You will do it to someone you love..." The creature hissed.

Hiccup coughed, which brought about a fresh wave of agony.

"No," He rasped.

Claws ripped across his chest and he screamed.

 _Let me die_

* * *

Master opened the door and I peered in to where the human lay.

"Iss he ready?"

"Almosst. He needss our wordss to cut the correct thoughtss through him firsst."

"And why are we doing thiss again?"

"For fun. Why elssse?"

* * *

 **Two Months Later**

* * *

Astrid stared out at the sea. Hiccup's boat was burning in the harbor.

Tears dripped down her face as she missed him. Remembered him. Remembered her Hiccup, not the monster that had replaced him.

When he had come back, he'd been covered in scars and open wounds, but he'd a a strange light in his eye. He'd started acting different. He'd been rude to everyone, cruel to Toothless, had even tried to take Astrid without her permission.

When the council had confronted him about some of his other actions, he'd stood up with that strange light back in his eye.

"I can do anything I want." He'd growled. "I. Am. Your. Chief."

He'd killed them all. When others tried to stop him, he killed them too. When Toothless attempted to bring Hiccup back to the village, Hiccup had taken his tail and abandoned him in the Cove.

Astrid had been the one to stop him. She'd trapped him. His escape attempt had resulted in a tumble off a cliff.

He was gone.

No one knew what had happened, but he was clearly not human. His pupils had been slits. His skin was turning grey. Claws had been developing.

Astrid cried, and she and Valka put their hands on Toothless's head as they all grieved together.

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by the song "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons**

* * *

 **A/N By the way, the PERFECT Hiccstrid song is "My First Kiss" by 3Oh!3**

 **Sorry if this was too horrible, I intended to make it longer but I only had half an hour.**

 **Love you guys and**

 **HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**

 **XOXO**


	21. Hiccup Pot Pie

**A/N Hello, lovely readers.**

 **I must apologize for my long absence, I have been going through a really really hard time. My mom said to my face that she didn't care about my mental health or my feelings, my brothers have been driving me to tears and then laughing about it, my parents are putting a lot of unwanted pressure on me because I have LGBTQ friends and they don't approve, just a lot of stuff.**

 **Also, I have been really really depressed and hopeless about life, a lot of cutting and suicidal thoughts, and I don't tell anyone I know in person because they would tell my parents, and then I'd be in really big trouble. I'd probably have my mattress confiscated or something. That happened to my brother.**

 **SO, I will be taking a short break from my other stories, but I will be back by Christmas...I think. I will be giving you guys some Christmas/Snoggletog one-shots, but I really don't like the holiday season.**

 **Also...6547 VIEWS, YOU GUYS!? OH SWEET THOR, THANK YOU EVERYONE!**

 **Review Replies:**

 **MAD Marty: Thanks, that means a lot. :-)**

 **Reba G (Guest): Yeah...it kind of was. Sorry, but a couple more are going to be just as dark.**

* * *

 _Hiccup Pot Pie_

 **Time Period: Canon, RTTE**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: Humor, Parody**

 **Rating: K+, for the dragon**

 **Summary: Hiccup accidentally runs into a guardian dragon who is shocked by the kindness he shows her and tries to make her stay with him.**

* * *

"Toothless?" Hiccup called into the cave. His only answer was a rough growl that did NOT belong to a Night Fury. Curious, Hiccup walked further into the cave. Toothless had wandered into the cave earlier that afternoon, during a half training mission, half camping trip in which the dragon riders were spending the night away from the Edge.

Now the cave was really dark, and Hiccup could barely see his hands in front of him.

"Toothless?" He called again. The cave opened up, into a huge room. And in the room was a huge, red, very toothy dragon.

Hiccup's mouth fell open.

"Who are you and what in Draco's name are you doin' in my cave?" The dragon demanded.

Hiccup stared in bewilderment.

"Yeah, that's right, I'm talkin' ta you." The dragon glared at him. "Puh-lease tell me you weren't after that nosy little Night Fury who came in here earlier."

"Uh...you..uh...you didn't _eat_ him, did you?" Hiccup asked breathlessly. He pinched himself. Yep, wide awake.

The dragon snorted out a puff of smoke.

" _Eat_ him? What kind of a sick cannibal you ya take me for, human? I merely sent him on his way. He said somethin' 'bout exploring some of the other caves."

"Okay...um, if you don't mind me asking, what kind of dragon are you?"

The dragon squinted at him.

"I'm a Guardian Dragon. I guard this here island. And right now, you in my cave. What's your name, little human?"

"Uh...Hiccup."

"Hiccup. You came here to kill me, then?"

"What?! No, I-"

The dragon didn't listen, instead she rose up onto her feet and began to...sing.

 _What in Thor's name?_ Hiccup thought, staring at the dragon.

 **Dragon:** _You didn't knock when you entered, baby! You didn't wipe your feet._

 **Hiccup:** Aww, jeez.

 **Dragon:** _I didn't see, I didn't see no open house sign. Is this a Trick-or Treat? Ooh, ooh, ooh._

Hiccup tried backing out of the cave, but the dragon wrapped the end of her tail around his legs.

 **Hiccup:** A little help here!

 **Dragon:** _You need to brush up on fairy tales, friend. 'Cause dragons like their sleep._

Hiccup tried wriggling out of the tightly wrapped tail, but the dragon wrapped her tail higher and higher up his body until he was confined from his ankles to his chest while he protested.

 **Hiccup:** You weren't even sleeping!

 **Dragon:** _I wrote the book on fire-breathin', why don't you read it and weep...weep...weep!_

Hiccup tried telling her that that was ridiculous, but was cut off every time, so finally he just stared at her and waited for her to stop singing.

 **Dragon:** _I'm gonna shake you!_

 _I'm gonna bake you!_

 _I'm gonna make you_

 _A Hiccup pot pie._

Hiccup was beginning to realize that she intended to hurt him.

 **Hiccup:** What?!

 **Dragon:** _Salisbury steak you!_

 _I'll frosted flake you!_

 _I'll patty-cake you,_

 _My Hiccup pot pie!_

 _Yeah! Yeeeeaaaaah!_

The dragon darted toward Hiccup with the intention to bite off his head.

 **Hiccup:** Wait!

The Dragon paused.

"This better be good."

Hiccup's mind raced. He thought that since the dragon was a girl, she might be appeased by compliments about her looks.

"Uh...your teeth look very..uh..sharp.' Hiccup winced inwardly, but kept going.

"And, um, your scales are really...shiny. And most dragons I know have really horrible fish breath, but you don't have any smell at all."

 _Oh, Thor, what am I doing?_ _!_ Hiccup panicked.

"I, um, I'm not here to kill you..."

The dragon moved back, sitting back on her haunches and fluttering her eyelashes at Hiccup, who was still wrapped up in her really long tail.

 _Uh...what?_ Hiccup thought.

 **Dragon:** _I'm gonna love you_

 **Hiccup:** Huh?

 **Dragon:** _And take hold of you_

 **Hiccup:** Oh, my...slow down.

 **Dragon:** _I'll really love you_

Hiccup panicked a bit.

 **Hiccup:** Really love me?

 **Dragon:** _My Hiccup pot pie!_

 _I'm gonna keep you!_

 _Little little Bo Peep you!_

 _I'm gonna sweep you_

 _Up into the skyyyyyyyy!_

 _I'm gonna squeeze you,_

 _I'm gonna tease you,_

 _I'm gonna please you._

 _I'm gonna have me_

 _A big ol' honkin', sloppy, gloppy, cherry-on-the-toppy piece of_

 _Hiccup!_

 _Pot!_

 _Pie!_

 _Na na na na na na!_

 _Hiccup!_

 **Hiccup:** What?!

 **Dragon:** _Hiccup!_

 **Hiccup:** Help!

 **Dragon:** _Hiccup!_

 **Hiccup:** Ow!

 **Dragon:** _Pot! Pie!_

* * *

Astrid paused outside the cave Hiccup had gone into. She could have sworn she heard him screaming something along the lines of:

"Help! Crazy dragon lady! Oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods this is _absolutely crazy!_ "

* * *

 **This One-Shot was based off the song "Donkey Pot Pie" by the Shrek Cast, from "Shrek The Musical."**

* * *

 **A/N I hope that made you guys laugh. :-)**

 **I was actually in the Junior version of "Shrek The Musical," and it was so awesome, I got to play the dragon (probably because I was easily the curviest person in the cast) and actually, one of my female friends played the donkey, she was quite good at the whole "Donkey attitude" thing.**

 **I AM WARNING YOU NOW.**

 **The next one-shot WILL BE RATED M, for VIOLENCE, SUICIDE, DARKNESS, MURDER, and STOICK BEING UNREASONABLE. It will also be Hijack, or Hiccup X Jack Frost, so if you're not into that you are perfectly welcome to NOT read the next chapter.**

 **CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED.**

 **Also, why is it HiJack, you might ask?**

 **Well, yes, Hiccstrid is my OTP, but I really like HiJack, too. It's really unrealistic and I understand that, but sometimes when the plot idea attacks me I have no choice but to answer it.**

 **Love you guys! :-)**


	22. Side By Side With Me

**A/N Hello, lovely readers!**

 **Firstly, I apologize for the long wait, it actually did take me this long to finish this.**

 **Secondly, I want to make something perfectly clear.**

 **I sincerely do believe that the LGBTQ community is okay and should be supported. I say this because I know people who have told me that it is wrong to be LGBTQ. I don't believe that. However what I do believe is that everyone should be free to believe what they want. For example, if you don't approve of this, you are welcome to not read it. However you are not welcome to leave me a review that says "fuck u fuck u fuck u fuck u." I received a review like that for my HiJack one-shot "Because Love," and I do NOT appreciate that person's disapproval expressed in that manner. I am straight, and I honestly don't understand LGBTQ, but I respect and "condone" people who are. (Condone is a word that was used by someone who told me that it is wrong to be gay.) I don't care what a person's sexual orientation is. I care that they are nice people.**

 **In relation to HiJack, I understand that it is very unrealistic and messes with character a bit. That doesn't mean that I am not allowed to ship it. It is not my OTP, that will always be Hiccstrid, but I can like it anyway.**

 **Thirdly, this one-shot will be messing a little bit with Stoick's character. I like Stoick. He's cool. He honestly does love Hiccup, he just has a problem expressing it. But in this story (SPOILER ALERT) he will be changed by fear. I just want you to know that I am intentionally changing his character from canon Stoick, so don't freak out.**

 **Review Replies:**

 **MAD Marty: Thank you, I really don't have that much computer time, though. By the way, are you British? It's just that sometimes I think you might be because of some things you say.**

 **Pikachu2chu: Thank you. That really does help a bit.**

* * *

 _Side By Side With Me_

 **Time Period: AU, man character's age 16**

 **Ship(s): HiJack(HiccupXJack Frost)**

 **Genre: Horror, Romance**

 **Rating: M, for death, suicide, major character death, and Stoick being unreasonable**

 **Summary: Hiccup and Jack are in love. Stoick does not approve. And when three people are found frozen to death, Stoick blames Jack. Hiccup tries to save him, but Jack is shot out of the sky, hunted down, and hung. Unable to live without him, Hiccup joins Jack in death.**

 **Things To Be Noted: BoyXBoy, also known as yaoi or gay. If you don't support it then you are welcome to NOT read this one-shot. Also, in this story, Jack can die. Not of old age, but of being killed.**

* * *

Stoick the Vast walked down the hill into the village. He saw a blur of movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Jack Frost darting into his son's window. A frown crossed the chief's face as he watched Jack's distinctive blue jacket and white hair disappear, then heard Hiccup's sharp yell of surprise. Laughter then echoed from the room and deepened Stoick's frown.

Stoick did not like Jack Frost.

At first, he hadn't even believed his son when he'd told him about Jack, but after a while, the whole town could see Jack. Some liked him, his charming demeanor and mischievous ways had won over the younger generation and half the older generation. However, there were still some, like Stoick, who didn't exactly trust him. Stoick didn't trust a boy who could create ice and snow, in a place where people froze to death often. There was also the matter that he could _fly_ , no dragon required.

Then Hiccup and Jack had fallen in love.

Stoick had not been happy, not at all. He was fine with the fact that Hiccup and Jack were both boys, that didn't bother him. What did bother him was that Hiccup just had to have chosen Jack Frost.

* * *

"Stoick!"

Phlegma hurried into the Great Hall that evening, her nose red from the cold. Stoick looked up.

"Yes, Phlegma?"

"Stoick, there's somethin' you need to see." Phlegma glanced nervously about.

Stoick stood and followed her. She led him around back of the storehouse, where three people were lying on the ground.

Dead.

Their skin was covered in a thin layer of grayish frost, and gray ice completely plugged up their mouths. Stoick bent down to make sure they were dead. Phlegma hovered.

"Are they really gone, Stoick?" She asked.

Stoick stood, a grim expression on his face.

"Yes. They're dead. And this-" he gestured to the ice "-is clearly not natural. Frost did this."

"Really?" Phlegma looked troubled. "But...he's such a nice boy."

"Being nice does not mean you are good," Stoick said, already on his way back to the Great Hall.

* * *

Hiccup and the gang, plus Jack Frost, were all seated at a table by the doors of the Great Hall. They were currently in a friendly argument about whether or not any of their dragons could catch Jack.

"Stormfly's pretty fast," Astrid said. "I bet she could catch you."

Snotlout laughed.

"As if!" He said. "Have you forgotten that _my_ dragon catches _on fire?_ We could totally slow him down, and _then_ catch him."

Jack smirked, that evil grin that usually preceded a snowball fight.

"Hey, if Toothless couldn't catch me, your dragons have got no chance."

Toothless perked up upon hearing his name, and they laughed at his expectant expression.

"I swear," Hiccup said, shaking his head in mock disapproval, "ever since you fed him dragon nip for the first time he expects some every time you say his name."

"Really?" Ruffnut said. "Hey, maybe we could teach Barf and Belch that trick!"

"It's not a trick, you guys," Fishlegs pointed out. "It's called...actually, I've forgotten what it's called, but it's something like, if you do something once around children or dragons, they're gonna expect it every time the situation occurs again! It's really quite fascinating-"

"Shut up, Fishface, we don't care." Snotlout said bluntly.

Astrid snickered at Fishelgs's wounded expression and said, "Don't look so hard done by, Fishlegs. I'm sure Hiccup will be happy to indulge your fascination with information no one else cares about."

Hiccup blushed.

"Uh, actually," he began, stuttering as usual. "We sort of..had plans..."

Astrid gave him a wicked grin.

"What sort of plans, Hiccup?" She asked him sweetly, fully intending to cause the blush that got deeper.

"Uh..."

Jack laughed.

"Just a flight, nothing major."

However Astrid intended to milk this for all it was worth. She liked watching Hiccup squirm.

"And is that why Hiccup looks like he's sitting in a nest of Fireworms?"

Astrid inwardly laughed as Hiccup shifted and stuttered a bit more, glancing at Jack for help. Jack's expression clearly said, "you're on your own." Hiccup's natural shyness was coming out, though he usually only acted this way around Jack, and had once long ago acted this way around Astrid. Astrid was happy for her friend, of course, but was NOT about to let a good teasing opportunity escape.

Hiccup was saved from the awkward situation by his father coming into the Great Hall.

"Dad! Hey, what's going on?"

Astrid's expression said, "I'll get you later," but she turned to greet the Chief, who was coming over to their table.

"Jack Frost, I need you to come with me." Stoick's voice was low enough that only their table could hear.

Confusion crossed Jack's face.

"Sure, but why?"

"There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Alright." Jack stood, and Hiccup made as if to stand as well, but Stoick waved him off.

"No, son, you stay here and enjoy yourself."

Taking the hint, though a bit confused still, Hiccup sat back down.

"See you later." Jack bent down and kissed Hiccup briefly on the cheek before disappearing out the door behind Stoick.

Astrid noted Hiccup's blush.

"Huh. I wonder what that was all about." Tuff stared after the two.

Ruffnut sidled up to him and said in a sing-song voice, "Someone's in trouble."

"How do you know?" Snotlout asked.

Ruffnut shrugged.

"That's Stoick's 'trouble face.' He wears it when he's about to give someone a punishment."

"And, again, how do you know?" Hiccup asked, glancing toward the door.

"Oh, we see it all the time." Tuffnut said, nodding sagely.

Hiccup sighed. "Of course. Twins. Why did I need to ask?"

"He'll be fine, Hiccup," Astrid told him. "He hasn't done anything to be punished for, has he?"

"Well...no. Of course not."

Astrid gave him _the look._

He wouldn't meet her eye.

* * *

"So what is it you wanted to talk to me about, Chief?" Jack walked alongside Stoick, his staff over his shoulders.

"Something Plegma found." Stoick paused, to watch Jack's expression. "Behind the storehouse."

Jack looked a bit confused, but Stock saw guilt.

"Okay..what is it?"

"This."

They walked around back, and Jack saw the bodies. He stopped. He stared. Finally he spoke.

"What the..." He walked forward and brushed his cold fingers against the plugs of gray ice.

"This doesn't look at all familiar to you?" Stoick probed. Jack looked up.

"What? You think...you think _I_ did this?" He demanded, standing up.

"This is not natural, boy. You are the only person I know of who could do something like this."

"Oh my gods. I didn't do it!"

Jack leaned down again to inspect the ice.

"Gray...hang on. This isn't ice."

"It isn't?"

"No, it's an amalgam of liquid..." Jack scraped off some of the gray stuff, tasted it, and immediately spit it out. "Fear."

"Fear. Really."

"Pitch did this." Jack gripped his staff and glanced around.

"You need to get inside, Chief. It'll be safer."

"The only thing we need to be safe from is apparently you, Frost."

Neither Jack not Stoick noticed the small seeping of fear creeping across the ground from the bodies, up Stoick's body, and into his mind.

"Jack Frost, I hereby find you guilty of murder. You will be imprisoned until tomorrow, upon which you will be executed."

"Executed!?"

Stoick didn't reply, simply grabbed Jack's arm with one hand and his staff with the other. Jack struggled, but Stoick was a Viking. There was no escape.

* * *

Astrid noted Hiccup's shifty behavior.

He would glance toward the doors every few minutes. He couldn't keep his fingers still, they were tapping on the table, on his wrist, on Tuffnut's fork (accidentally).

Finally Stoick came back (without Jack) and Hiccup tensed up.

Stoick came over to the table and waited until everyone (namely, Ruffnut and Tuffnut) noticed him, then spoke.

"Jack Frost has been found guilty of murder."

Fishlegs gasped. Ruff and Tuff looked outraged. Snotlout looked utterly confused. Astrid's mind was racing as she stared in disbelief. Hiccup's face went from confused, to devastated, then horrified. He knew what the penalty for murder was.

"Dad, no! I know him, he wouldn't kill anyone!"

Stoick's face was impassive. "That boy is an unnatural demon. If he could kill, he would, and he did."

Astrid leaned forward.

"Sir, what exactly was the means of death?"

Hiccup gave her a look, like, "how is this helping?" She ignored him.

"Their mouths were plugged up with ice, and they were frozen."

"Erm, not to be rude, but this is Berk, Sir." Fishlegs tried. "People freeze to death here every winter."

A massive fist slammed down on the table.

"The boy is guilty." Stoick growled. "His execution will be tomorrow at noon."

Hiccup was fighting back tears.

"Hiccup, are you okay?"

He took a swipe at his eyes and then stood up.

"I'm going to prove him innocent." He said angrily.

"I'll help you." Astrid stood up too.

"Me too." Fishlegs stood up.

"Don't forget us," Snotlout said, gesturing to himself and the twins.

* * *

Jack stretched out his arm. Further...further...almost there...

A sound sent him away from the side of the cell, where he'd been reaching for his staff.

A woman stood there, Plegma. She'd been the one who found the bodies, Jack remembered.

"Did you really do it?" She asked him.

"No." Jack shook his head. "And, no offense, but Stoick is kind of an idiot for thinking I did it. My ice is white or clear. That stuff was gray."

Plegma sighed. "Our chief can sometimes be a bit short-sighted. But then, so are we all. You know of the dragon war?"

Jack nodded. "Hiccup told me."

"An example of our stubbornness." She glanced back. "I have to go. But I'm on your side. And Hiccup and his friends are trying to free you."

Jack nodded. Plegma turned to leave. But before she could, a shot of darkness came from the shadows and entered her mind. She turned. Jack saw naked fear in her eyes.

"You. Your ice. You killed them."

"What? No! I...Pitch! Show yourself!"

Plegma turned and ran, and Pitch himself materialized out of the shadows.

"Hello, Jack."

"What do you want?"

Pitch smiled. "To have a little fun, of course. And what is more fun than death, and fear?"

Jack scowled. "Leave these people alone."

Pitch smiled. "It's not the people I'm after. The boy, Hiccup. He fascinates me. I want to see what it will take to break him from the shadows."

Jack's breath caught. _No._

"Leave him alone, Pitch, please, he doesn't deserve this!" Jack had seen what happened to people that fascinated Pitch. It wasn't pretty.

"But Jack...I wouldn't enjoy myself otherwise. Have fun in the cage." Pitch melted back into shadow, his evil smile imprinted in Jack's brain.

* * *

Stoick wouldn't listen.

Hiccup, Fishlegs, and Astrid had tried reason. Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut had tried begging.

Stoick would use the same argument, that it was clear Jack had murdered citizens if Berk, and so he would be put to death. Plain and simple.

Also, something strange was happening. Plegma had gone to talk to Jack. She'd run out of the prison screaming, and everyone she talked to soon had the same scared expressions when they talked about Jack.

Astrid was observing something odd happen to Hiccup.

His hands were shaking, and he seemed constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It seemed hard for him to focus, and jumped every time someone spoke to him. Astrid was getting really worried for him. He usually wouldn't act like that. He would be completely focused on his task, usually to the point of forgetting himself. But now it was like someone had injected him with pure fear.

"Okay!" Astrid interjected after yet another useless argument between Fishlegs and Snotlout. They stopped and looked at her, but Astrid spoke to Hiccup.

"How about we just break him out? There's no way your dad is going to let him go."

Tuffnut gasped. "Are you telling me that you're going to _go against the Chief's wishes?!_ "

Astrid glared. "Like you don't. That's not the point. Jack clearly didn't do it. He was with us all day. Anyway, everyone has started believing Hiccup's dad on this, so if we're gonna do this, then we're gonna do it ourselves."

Everyone nodded, except Hiccup. He just stared out the window at the snow-covered village.

"Hiccup?" Hiccup ignored Fishlegs.

Astrid went over.

"Hiccup, listen to me." Hiccup looked up at her.

"We're going to break Jack out, let him run. You gonna help?"

This seemed to break through to Hiccup.

"Yeah. Yeah, let's do it."

"Okay. We'll do it tonight."

Nobody argued.

* * *

Stoick the Vast was sleeping.

He did not see his son and his son's dragon sneak out of the house. He did not hear the muffled curse as Hiccup's leg tripped him up. He was dreaming. It was not a good dream, either.

In the dream, Berk was frozen. Not like it was every winter, more like everything was encased in a separate cocoon of the same gray ice that had plugged up the mouths of the dead. Every villager was wearing the same expression of terror. Every dragon was stuck in a fighting stance. Stoick himself stood in the plaza, a sword in his hand, unable to move. He was cold, so very cold, but he was alive and alert.

Jack Frost had done this. Stoick knew it. There he was, sitting on a roof and _laughing._

Pitch watched Stoick sleeping, carefully cultivating the Night Mare to fit Stoick's worries. Getting ready to wake him at the exact right time.

* * *

"Jack?"

Jack's head snapped up. Hiccup and the gang stood at the door of the cell. Hiccup held a ring of keys, and Astrid had a growing bruise on her arm, clearly from taking our the guards.

"Hiccup, you have to go, you have to run," Jack hissed. He glanced around. If Pitch were listening then he'd know where to chase Hiccup...

"Go to the North Pole. You'll be safe-"

"Wait, wait, Jack, what?" Hiccup jammed the key into the lock. "We're getting you out. Tell me then."

"No, leave me, Hiccup, he's coming for you." Hiccup paused.

"Who's coming?" Astrid asked.

Jack slumped. "Pitch Black. He is the personification of fear, and he wants to kill you."

"Kill me?" Hiccup turned the key. "Why?"

"Who knows why he does anything? He's sick and evil and twisted and you have to go, you have to leave, Hiccup!"

"If I'm leaving then you're coming." Hiccup swung open the cell door. "Guys, you're going to have to tell my dad...I don't know." Hiccup sighed and rubbed his forehead, where a headache was developing.

"What? Hiccup, you're just going?" Astrid folded her arms. "How do you know about this Pitch guy, Jack?"

Hiccup stared at her incredulously. The others looked like they were on Astrid's side.

"Astrid? Seriously, you too?"

Astrid shook her head. "I'll help you leave, if that's what you really want to do, but I'm not making excuses to your father." The others nodded.

* * *

Stoick woke in a cold sweat.

He could have sworn he heard a door slam. He got up and stumbled into the other room, by the fire. There was a bucket of water, and he took a drink before going upstairs to check on Hiccup. He had the strangest feeling Hiccup was in danger. As he reached the top of the stairs, he saw that Toothless was not in the room. This sparked Stoick's worry. He went faster. He ripped back the blanket to find...an empty bed.

 _No_...

Stoick's tired brain was still operating off the nightmare, and he jumped to the quick conclusion that Jack Frost had done something. He went to the window, scanning the village for something, anything...there!

Hiccup and the rest of the gang were going into the prison.

Stoick's anger eclipsed his reason. He would not stand for this.

* * *

"Good luck, you two." Astrid stepped back. Hiccup blinked. He was still shocked she'd hugged him. But then again, she'd hugged Jack, too. It was probably just a farewell.

"Thanks." Jack leaned against Toothless. "Think we should get going, Hic?"

"Yeah, hang on a sec." Hiccup turned back to Astrid. "Tell the others thanks. And...I'm gonna miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you, too, Hiccup. Now get going."

"Bye."

Astrid turned, and headed back to her house. However, she was only barely out of earshot when the guards she had knocked out snatched her.

* * *

"We should go." Jack gently tugged on Hiccup's arm.

"I know." Neither of them noticed the men and women creeping into the Academy. Toothless, however, did.

He growled, and shot a plasma blast into the shadows. Stoick and several other s emerged, carrying bolas.

"Jack Frost." Stoick growled. "You are attempting to escape justice."

"No, I'm not." Jack held his staff defensively. "I am trying to save Hiccup from Pitch."

"We still haven't seen any sign of this 'Pitch', Frost. I restate and adhere to my judgement. You are a murderer. You must die."

"Jack, go!"

"Not without you, Hiccup."

"I'll be fine, just GO!"

"No. We're going together."

"Okay, fine..."

Jack jumped up into the air, and Hiccup and Toothless quickly followed, ignoring Stoick's demands that they stop, that they come back, that they listen to him.

"Get the catapult."

* * *

Hiccup and Jack soared over Berk. Toothless and Jack both were trying to get Hiccup to leave immediately, but Hiccup wanted to check on Astrid. The villagers had been so close to the Academy that they probably would have caught her as she left.

Then...the net struck. Jack went down. Hiccup tried to follow him, but the other net wrapped around Toothless's wings and dropped them somewhere else. Hiccup had no chance to try and save Jack because his father wouldn't let him go with those who were hunting him.

Hiccup knew, though, where the tree was. Stoick had told him. As dawn broke, Jack had been found and subdued in the Cove, then hung on the tree by the pond.

* * *

"Hiccup."

Hiccup didn't respond.

"Hiccup, please." Astrid regarded him with worry. He wouldn't get off that chair. He wouldn't speak. He wouldn't leave the room. It was as if he'd been trapped in a box of terror. She gave up.

As Astrid left, Hiccup gazed out his window in the direction of the Cove. He couldn't move. He could barely breathe. It was his fault. His fault.

A shadowy whisper filled the room.

 _"Jack Frost is dead because of you. What do you have left, really?"_

Hiccup swallowed with difficulty and glanced toward Toothless, who was curled up, watching him. He didn't seem to be able to hear the whispering.

 _"Him? He can never truly love you. His love his that of a dumb animal. Jack Frost would have loved you to the end of your pathetic existence. What can you do...but follow him?"_

Hiccup's breath caught.

Yes. That was his only option. He could join Jack in death.

* * *

The night was so cold. Hiccup's breath fogged as he walked to the Cove, a coil of rope over his shoulder.

The moon shone down on the surface of the pond in the Cove as Hiccup walked over to the tree and stared up at Jack's body, hung from the thickest branch, his neck at an unnatural angle. A tear slipped down Hiccup's face. Jack practically shone as the moonlight hit his white hair and pale skin.

Hiccup sat down on the same stone he'd sketched Toothless on, about a year and a half ago. He wove the rope into a noose. He climbed the tree. He tied the rope securely around the branch. He placed the noose around his neck.

And Hiccup jumped.

* * *

Pitch chortled to himself as he walked into the cove and saw Hiccup's final moments.

"Game over. I win," he mumured.

* * *

Stoick the Vast found the two lovers hanging side by side in the dawn light, silently swinging in the cold winter breeze.

* * *

 **This One Shot was based off of "The Hanging Tree" by Jennifer Lawrence, from "Mockingjay."**

* * *

 **A/N ...WOW.**

 **Way darker than I intended. Also way longer than any of my other one-shots...**

 **I kept listening to the song and seeing this happen, like an AMV, and if any YouTubers out there want to try their hand and making this into and AMV I would be eternally grateful.**

 **The next one-shot WILL be happy, I PROMISE!**

 **Love you guys!**


	23. Money Ain't Got No Soul

**A/N Hello, lovely readers.**

 **My mother decided to read my personal journal. She knows something I tried to keep a secret. I'm only daring to tell you all because she knows now. I'm transgender, and she is NOT okay with it. I am just really terrified about how all this is going to turn out.**

 **Review Replies:**

 **MAD Marty: Okay, and thanks. I though either British or Australian, I just wasn't sure. :-)**

 **WolfDragon (Guest) : I'm sorry, but I closed reviews a while ago.**

 **Reba G (Guest): Thanks. Here it is. :-)**

 **Kai (Guest): Hahahaha I knew you´d read this sooner or later. :-) (chap. 15) Thank you, thank you, I do try. (chap. 22) YES I CRIED WHILE WRITING IT (and as you already know) I SQUEALED LIKE A FANGIRL WHEN YOU SHOWED ME THE DRAWING AND I SHOULD REALLY STOP WRITING IN CAPITAL LETTERS! :-)**

* * *

 _Money Ain´t Got No Soul_

 **Time Period: AU, main character´s age 18**

 **Ship(s): Heathlout**

 **Genre: Humor, Parody**

 **Rating: K+, for Mama Gothi**

 **Summary: Heather, Snotlout and Louis make it to Mama Gothi, deep in the bayou. She tries to make Heather and Snotlout realize they are in love. How? Through music!**

* * *

Mama Gothi slid off her chair and waddled to the center of the room, singing.

 **Mama Gothi:** _Don´t matter what you look like_

Heather and Snotlout gave each other a look.

 **Mama Gothi:** _Don´t matter what you wear._

 _How many rings you got on your fingers_

 _We don´t care, no_

 **Chorus:** _We Don´t care!_

 **Mama Gothi:** _Don´t matter where you come from_

 _Don´t even matter what you are._

 _A dog, a pig, a cow, a goat_

 _Had ´em all in here!_

 **Chorus:** _Had ´em all in here!_

 **Mama Gothi:** _And they all knew what they wanted_

 _What they wanted me ta do_

 _I told ´em what they needed_

 _Just like I be tellin´ you_

Snotlout and Heather were beginning to enjoy themselves, and Louis was quite happy.

 **Mama Gothi:** _You gotta dig a little deeper_

 _Find out who you are_

 _You gotta dig a little deeper_

 _It really ain't that far!_

 _When you find out who you are_

 _You'll find out what you need_

 _Blue skies and sunshine_

 _Guaranteed!_

 _You gotta dig!_

 **Chorus:** _Dig!_

 **Mama Gothi:** _You gotta dig_

 **Chorus:** _Dig_

Mama Gothi waddled over to Snotlout, who was happily dancing by himself on a barrel, and began singing directly to him.

 **Mama Gothi:** _Prince Froggy is a rich little boy_

 _Wanna be rich again?_

Snotlout turned to her eagerly and nodded as she dropped gold coins around him.

 **Mama Gothi:** _That ain't gonna make you happy now,_

 _Did it make you happy then?_

Snotlout nodded, but she leaned down to yell at him.

 **Mama Gothi:** No!

 _Money ain't got no heart_

 _Money ain't got no soul_

 _All you need is some self-control_

 _Make yourself a brand-new start!_

She waddled around as she sang, dancing to the pumping rhythm.

 **Mama Gothi:** _You gotta dig a little deeper!_

 _Don't have far to go._

She smiled as she watched Snotlout gaze at Heather, who was dancing. Not in any dirty way, he was smiling in pure affection. Who would've guessed, huh?

 **Mama Gothi:** _You gotta dig a little deeper_

 _Tell the people Mama told you so!_

 _Can't tell what you'll find_

 _Maybe love will grant you peace of mind_

 _Dig a little deeper and you'll know._

Mama Gothi went over to Heather next.

 **Mama Gothi:** _Miss Froggy?_

Heather turned.

 **Heather:** Yes?

 **Mama Gothi:** _Might I have a word?_

 **Heather:** Yes, Ma'am.

 **Mama Gothi:** You the hard one, that what I heard...

 _Your daddy was a lovin' man,_

 _Family through and through._

 _You your daddy's daughter,_

 _What he had in him, you got in you!_

 _You gotta dig a little deeper!_

 _For you, it's gonna be tough._

 _You gotta dig a little deeper._

 _Ain't dug near far enough!_

 _Dig down deep inside yourself!_

 _You'll find out what you need._

 _Blue skies and sunshine!_

 _Guaranteed._

 **Heather:** _Blue skies and sunshine!_

 **Chorus:** _Blue skies and sunshine!_

 **Mama Gothi:** _Guaranteed!_

* * *

 **This One-Shot was inspired by "Dig A Little Deeper" by Jenifer Lewis and the Pinnacle Gospel Choir, from "The Princess And The Frog."**

* * *

 **A/N Sorry it was so short, I don't have a lot of time to write nowadays.**

 **Love you guys!**


	24. Yellow Flicker Beat

**A/N Hey, everyone. Look, I'm sorry about the break, but I needed some space. I have also been receiving some questionable reviews on my other stories about how long it's taking me to update and about the break I am taking. That is NOT appreciated.**

 **I am still taking that hiatus, but on everything except this collection, and my updates on this will be very far apart and sporadic, because there is more to my life than writing and I'm very stressed.**

 **Those of you who've stuck with me this long, thank you so much. I know I've been sort of an irresponsible author, what with leaving you hanging for so long.**

* * *

Yellow Flicker Beat

 **Time Period: AU, main character's age 18**

 **Ship(s): None**

 **Genre: Adventure, Horror?**

 **Rating: T, for mention of character deaths and violence**

 **Summary: Hiccup turned evil after Viggo kidnapped him in season 4. No one knows why except Viggo, who set a witch after Hiccup to change him. But it went too far, and Hiccup turned inhuman.**

 **Things To Be Noted: I KNOW that Hiccup would never do the things he does in my story canonically, but let us remember that this is an AU, where things are different and BAD THINGS CAN HAPPEN. FanFiction is all about IF, remember that please. And we can also remember that not only do we still have our lovely little canon Hiccup to love, but stories aren't any good without the character having some amount of pain. Also, there are NO spoilers. Now let's get on with it.**

* * *

Hiccup stopped at the top of the rise, panting as he stared down at the flaming ruins of Viggo's base. He extinguished his sword and strapped it back where it belonged. He stared down at the cages, where all sorts of dragons had been imprisoned a few minutes ago. Now they were gone, having completely torched the camp on their way out. The rest of the dragon riders had been in the cages too. Now they were probably nothing but ashes. Surprisingly, Hiccup felt nothing. Just an all-consuming anger. Anger towards everyone who'd ever wronged him, in any way.

That's what he'd do. He'd hunt down everyone and anyone who'd ever hurt him, and he wouldn't just hurt them back, oh no. He'd _destroy_ them. Destroy them utterly. He'd start with the people of Berk, those who'd shamed him and mocked him for the first fifteen years of his life. He opened his mouth and let out his Night Fury call. Toothless bounded into sight almost immediately, stooping within five feet of Hiccup and warbling concernedly.

Hiccup snapped his fingers, and Toothless cocked his head in question.

"Useless reptile," Hiccup spat. "Can't even come when you're called. Never mind. I'll get there myself."

He set off down the other side of the hill, stumbling over the loose stones. Half-way down, he stopped and turned back to the hill. He went back to the top and glared down at the base. Toothless stood at his side, but he pushed the Night Fury's nose away with a clenched fist. Slowly, softly, Hiccup began to sing.

 **Hiccup:** _I'm a dark prince cut from marble, smoother than a storm_

 _And the scars that mark my body, they're silver and gold_  
 _My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones_  
 _It keeps my veins hot, the fires find a home in me_  
 _I move through town, I'm quiet like a fire_  
 _And my necklace is of rope, I tie it and untie it_

He paused, fingering the length of rope the witch had tied around his neck. He continued.

 **Hiccup:** _And my people talk to me, but nothing ever hits_

 _So people talk to me, and all the voices just burn holes_  
 _I'm done with this_

His green eyes blazed like the fire they reflected as he scowled down at the cages, at the tent that contained the burning remains of Viggo Grimborn.

 **Hiccup:** _This is the start of how it all ends_

 _They used to shout my name, now they whisper it_  
 _I'm speeding up and this is the_  
 _Red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart_  
 _I'm at the start, the colors disappear_  
 _I never watch the stars there's so much down here_  
 _So I just try to keep up with the_  
 _Red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart._

He walked back down the hill, and relished the fear in the eyes of the last few Hunters as they scrambled away from him.

 **Hiccup:** _I dream all year, but they're not the same kinds_

 _And the shivers move down my shoulder blades in double time_

 _And now people talk to me, I'm slipping out of reach now_  
 _People talk to me, and all their faces blur_  
 _But I got my fingers laced together and I made a little prison_  
 _And I'm locking up everyone that ever laid a finger on me_  
 _I'm done with it._

He laced his fingers together in front of his face and looked though them at the fire. It was beautiful.

 **Hiccup:** _This is the start of how it all ends_

 _They used to shout my name, now they whisper it_  
 _I'm speeding up and this is the_  
 _Red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart_  
 _I'm at the start, the colors disappear_  
 _I never watch the stars, there's so much down here_  
 _So I just try to keep up with the_  
 _Red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart_

 _And this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat_  
 _Sparking up my heart_  
 _And this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat-beat-beat-beat._

He stopped singing.

"Toothless, come."

Toothless crawled over, his head bowed. He didn't understand why Hiccup was acting so strangely.

"C'mon, dragon." Hiccup swung himself up onto the saddle. "Take me to Berk."

Toothless turned his head to look at Hiccup in confusion. Berk was so far away!

"Didn't you hear me?" Hiccup snarled. Toothless gave Hiccup one last, sad look before taking off. He only hoped he could figure out what was wrong with his human before it was too late.

* * *

 **A/N Sad, yes. Remember what I said.**

 **Sorry it was short. I think I might be able to update The Day My Perfectly Normal Life Exploded sometime this week. Fingers crossed.**


	25. Some Have To Live With The Scars

**A/N Hey, everyone. I'm on spring break right now, so I have time to update everything! I'll update each of my stories by at least one chapter, and hopefully after spring break I'll get some more writing done. I'll have to let you know.**

 **So. Updates on my sorry life, ha ha. I've figured that I'm genderfluid. I have made some friends and one of them has helped me get rid of my depression! (Yay!) I still get relapses sometimes but other than that I'm good.**

 **By the way, do any of you like Melanie Martinez? If not I highly recommend her music and music videos. Have to warn you now, her music is VEERRRYY creepy and not for children. "Dollhouse," one of her songs, will be one of the ones I'll make into a one-shot for this collection, just so you're forewarned.**

 **I am so happy to be back writing, so I guess I better get on with this chapter! :-)**

* * *

Some Have To Live With The Scars

 **Time Period: Close AU, Post-HTTYD 2**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid**

 **Genre: Family, Parody**

 **Rating: K+, because I said so**

 **Summary: The dragons gather to celebrate the re-starting of a species, and to honor their Alpha's hatchlings when Toothless's babies hatch.**

 **Things To Be Noted: Dragonese will appear like** _this._ **Also, in this particular AU, dragons speak Dragonese and can learn Norse and humans can speak Dragonese.**

* * *

Hiccup was rather harried. Berk was in total disarray. Quite a few wild dragons had shown up and were visiting Berk, though they were staying well away from the village. The domestic dragons and the wild ones weren't exactly getting along all that well, even though they were all preparing for a very important event. The Vikings were looking forward to the event as well, but it didn't hold as much weight for them, being human. Except for Hiccup, who was going to be there because Toothless was his best friend, and Fishlegs, who was not going to be there but demanded that Hiccup take copious notes, because Fishlegs was a scientist.

The event was this: Toothless's mate had laid eggs, and they were hatching.

No one quite knew when yet, but it was close. When the babies decided to come out, Hiccup figured. In the meantime, he had to deal with the dragons and their party preparations. Dragon parties were somewhat different from human parties. Not just because dragons didn't feast at their parties, they drank nothing but water, and of course the physical differences, but because dragon parties were not about food or drink. Dragon parties were about music.

Of course, humans and dragons had different voices, different languages, and different dances, but they both shared a deep joy in music. Dragons made music with their bodies and with the ground, whatever was around. Dragons sang their songs in Dragonese, which is punctuated by shrill shrieks and popping noises and sounds _most_ extraordinary when spoken by a human. Despite this, several Vikings (including Hiccup, of course) had learnt it.

Going back, Hiccup was rather harried. He stood on the steps of the Great Hall, frustratedly directing several Nadders and a Gronckle away from Seawing's nest, which she had chosen to make on the roof.

" _No, Stoneclaw, you may NOT go and see the eggs before they hatch."_

 _"Hiccup, those are the Alpha's eggs. As the Alpha, he must let us see our future."_

 _"Look, I know those hatchlings are gonna be what, like princes and princesses to you? That means that everyone's gotta know about them, 'cause that's how things work. But Seawing is sick of visitors and has requested NO MORE until the hatching!"_

Stoneclaw and her friends went away grumbling, and Hiccup turned to see Toothless bounding up.

"Hi, Hiccup!" Toothless greeted him enthusiastically. Toothless had been the only dragon to think that learning Norse had been worth his time, and his forked tongue still gave him trouble sometimes. "Keeping people away from Seawing, I see. Thank you." His tail twitched back and forth as he bounced on the spot.

"Anytime, Bud. Tell me, how much mead have you drunk?" The domestic dragons had found themselves quite fond of mead, and Toothless was no exception.

Toothless giggled slightly and stopped bouncing. "None. I'm just really excited. I think today's the day, Hiccup."

Hiccup grinned. "Really? Today?"

Toothless nodded, his pupils getting bigger in excitement. "I can just feel it."

"What about Seawing? Have you asked her yet?"

"Yeah, she feels pretty optimistic, too."

Their conversation was cut off by a Night Fury's roar coming from the top of the Great Hall. Every head in the vicinity, human or dragon, snapped up as the sound echoed over the entire island, and the rustling of many great scaly bodies beginning to move across the island began.

"Oh great Draco," Toothless squealed. "I was right, I was right! Come on, Hiccup, up we go! Up! Up! Up!" He bounced around Hiccup, too happy to sit still as Hiccup half-heartedly chased the saddle.

"Toothless, if I can't get on your back we can't go up," Hiccup pointed out, chuckling. Toothless stopped and let Hiccup up, wriggling slightly as Hiccup fitted his foot into the mechanism and swung into the saddle. They took off at once and soared up to the roof of the Great Hall, where Seawing was waiting, curled around the nest.

 _"Hello, love,"_ Toothless purred, slipping back into Dragonese as he greeted his mate. Hiccup smiled at his Night Fury friends and swung off of Toothless's back.

"Hey, Seawing. So they're hatching?"

Seawing nodded and lifted her wing off the nest. The eggs were rocking back and forth, and faint squeaking noises were coming from them.

Hiccup smiled fondly at the nest and his two good friends.

* * *

 **BEGIN MONTAGE**

* * *

 **Dragons:** _From the day, we arrived on the planet_

 _And blinking, step into the sun_

 _There's more to see, than can ever be seen_

 _More to do, than can ever be done_

The dragons gathered before the Great Hall, on rooftops, on fences, on the ground. Vikings too, stared up at the roof where they knew that a species was continuing.

 **Dragons:** _There's far too much to take in here,_

 _More to find than can ever be found_

 _But the sun rolling high_

 _Through the sapphire sky_

 _Keeps great and small on the endless round_

Hiccup, Toothless, Seawing, and the dragons' High Priestess of Draco stood and watched the eggs rock back and forth harder and harder until they exploded. The babies landed in the nest and lay there staring up at the faces before them. Hiccup smiled in wonder as the babies were marked by the Priestess with the Mark of Draco. They were singlehandedly the most adorable things Hiccup had ever seen. Their huge eyes were turned up in amazement at the world around them. One had golden eyes and the other two had blue eyes.

 **Dragons:** _It's the circle of life!_

 _And it moves us all_

 _Through despair and hope_

 _Through faith and love_

 _Till we find our place_

 _On the path unwinding_

 _In the circle_

 _The circle of life._

One by one, the hatchlings were named. The two with blue eyes were named Shadowheart and Strongtail. The one with gold eyes was named Sunsister. Toothless, Seawing, and the Priestess each picked one up by the backs of their necks and carried them, squirming, to the edge of the roof.

 **Dragons:** _It's the circle of life!_

 _And it moves us all_

 _Through despair and hope_

 _Through faith and love_

 _Till we find our place_

 _On the path unwinding_

 _In the circle_

 _The circle of life._

At the last note, the babies were held out over empty space, and they stared out at the many dragons and humans gathered to see them, and the dragons bowed their heads to the baby Night Furies, the re-starting of a species.

* * *

 **END MONTAGE**

* * *

 **A/N Well, I hoped you like it! I have had that scene in my head for just FOREVER, and it drove me up the wall that I couldn't finish yet. It was the first on my list for writing when I came back.**

 **Also, I found a fanart that I'm copy/pasting here, I don't know if it'll show up but I thought you might like to see it.**

 **Have a great day (or night, depends) and I'll see you all at the next chapter!**


	26. Wedding Dance

**A/N Good God, so much has happened since I've updated...**

 **First, a sincere and heartfelt apology to everyone who was waiting for an update, my life has gone to hell. I had a secret girlfriend (from my parents) and when they found out, I was banned from ever seeing her or talking to her again, banned from the Internet, banned from using a phone unless my parents were around, banned from going to the library by myself, banned from pretty much everything. Some other lines have been crossed, though, so I'm getting emancipated. My family doesn't know, and they won't until it's too late, but at this point I just have to get out. Honestly, I'm more worried about my girlfriend than I am about me, though. I also walked out of my parents' house a few days ago and my biggest fear right now is that they'll make me come back. I'm trying to get a job and working stuff out about school and money and everything so I think I'm gonna be okay.**

 **Secondly, thank you everyone who's been reading my stories. I couldn't stand not being able to write anymore, and when the teen librarian here told me that my parents had NO CLUE if I use library computers or not, I knew it was time to write again. Writing is really good for me. Also...I kinda have a new fandom...anyone here know Voltron?**

 **Anyway, enough about me, here's some Hiccstrid.**

* * *

 _Wedding Dance_

 **Time Period: Canon, Post-HTTYD 2**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid, Heathret**

 **Genre: Family, Romance**

 **Rating: K+, for alcohol use**

 **Summary: At Hiccup and Astrid's wedding, Heather decides to teach Berk a dance that she learned in a far-off land called Corona.**

* * *

Heather smiled as she sat in the back of the Great Hall on Berk, arm in arm with Eret. Hiccup and Astrid were still greeting guests and accepting gifts, often giving each other looks that said, _why would anyone even want this?_ Not that the gift-givers caught said looks. Valka was beaming at her son, and Toothless was watching from the rafters. Ruff, Tuff, and Snotlout had started a drinking game at the other end of the hall. Fishlegs was refereeing.

"What a great party," Eret remarked. Heather shrugged. "I think it's missing something," she said into her mug.

"Like what?" Eret said. Heather smiled.

* * *

Hiccup couldn't stop smiling. Nor blushing, either, he realized as he caught Astrid's eye. Astrid squeezed his hand and beamed at him. A ruckus in front of the doors caught Hiccup's attention. Heather had found the musicians (they'd been drinking) and was wrangling them into a somewhat organized line.

"Excuse me, everyone!" Heather called, and when that didn't work, she yelled, "SHUT UP!" That got people's attention, and Heather grinned.

"Hi, it's me, Berserker girl. I'm sure that all of you know I was traveling for quite some time, and in my travels, I found a land called Corona. In this land I learned a dance that I feel we all need to dance. It's a wedding, after all. "

Hiccup gave Astrid a look.

"Don't give me that look," Astrid scolded gently. "You have to dance anyway, it's our wedding."

"I can't dance," Hiccup muttered.

"Yes, you can," Astrid told him, and pulled him off to where Heather was organizing people. Hiccup went, somewhat willingly (because Astrid was holding his hand) and allowed himself to be placed.

Now, Vikings are surprisingly musical people. They like to sing (at the top of their lungs) and they like to dance (usually in a manner that knocks things over). So perhaps this dance was a wonderful thing for the Vikings of Berk.

Heather directed the musicians to the first bit of the song and then told them to improvise the rest based on the home notes. They did so, and then the dance began.

It was not perhaps the most successful of dances, as several people ended up falling over, Toothless pounced on someone, and Snotlout ended up getting "accidentally" tossed into a barrel of mead, but in other ways it was wonderful. They all danced in a big circle or a long line, switching off partners and generally having a good time. The end of the dance soon approached, and the music sped up faster and faster, and at the end Hiccup and Astrid ended up in each other's arms once more. So (of course), they kissed while people wolf-whistled and applauded. Heather felt that the dance was successful as she saw the smiles on the faces of her good friends.

* * *

"Is that what you had in mind?" Eret asked Heather later.

"Yup," was all Heather said as she happily watched Hiccup and Astrid dance, slowly, in each other's arms.

* * *

 **A/N I know it was short but I'm pressed for time. Thanks again for being such great readers!**


	27. Two Of Us

**A/N Well, I got a request. And I know I said that requests were closed, but this one really really inspired me. I even wrote my own song for it! And I will eventually be putting said song on YouTube, so there will be that song coming up...soon? Maybe soon. I have to work out some other stuff, maybe by September. This song I actually wrote for Hiccstrid but I'm starting to think it might share a drink or two with my own relationship...huh. Well then, readers, here is lovely Hiccstrid.**

* * *

 _Two Of Us_

 **Time Period: Canon, RTTE, Season 4, between episode 11 and episode 12**

 **Ship(s): Hiccstrid**

 **Genre: Romance**

 **Rating: K+, for PG content**

 **Summary: Hiccup and Astrid sing a song that captures their feelings perfectly in the moment**

* * *

Hiccup pulled away from Astrid and smiled happily in the sunset light.

"Astrid..."

"Yeah, Hiccup?"

Hiccup wasn't really sure what he wanted t say, so he started humming, and soon the words came out.

 **Hiccup:** _I've known you now for...who knows how long, and yes, it has been years. And I'm glad I took all of my paths, because they led me here._

Astrid smiled and sung back to him.

 **Astrid:** _I never knew love was this good, especially with you, but I'm glad that I took my paths, because they made us two._

Hiccup blushed a little when Astrid said she loved him, but got up and continued singing. Astrid joined him.

 **Hiccup and Astrid:** _There's two of us, now more than ever there's two of us, and there's so much we could do with us, now that we have us here._

Hiccup took Astrid's hand, and they started to dance.

 **Hiccup:** _You are my friend_

 **Astrid:** _My love_

 **Hiccup and Astrid:** _My everything, and I'll stay by your side, I'll defend you in everything, and with you now I'll bide._

 **Hiccup:** _You're strong_

 **Astrid:** _You're brave_

 **Hiccup and Astrid:** _You're true, and now more than ever I'm so glad to just be here with you._

The song slowed down a little bit, and Hiccup and Astrid stepped back a bit to look into each other's eyes.

 **Hiccup:** _If you really want this..._

 **Astrid:** _And believe me, love, I do..._

 **Hiccup and Astrid:** _Then I would do most anything, just to be with you_

 **Hiccup:** _I would do_

 **Astrid:** _I would do_

 **Hiccup and** Astrid: _I would do...I would do most anything, just to be with you._

They stopped singing and leaned forward for another gentle kiss.

* * *

 **A/N I love these kids...**


End file.
